After the exchange of the marriage
vows a young couple begins to realize that it takes more than love to maintain
a happy home. If the couple had savings before marriage, they are surprised to
see how quickly these savings dwindles as they attempt to meet the basic needs
of their newly established home. They find that their assumptions, before
marriage, that there would be a substantial amount left over from their
earnings were too optimistic. The wedding presents have helped a great deal,
but there are some essential things needed that their friends and relations did
not supply. Before they know it the young couple finds that they are spending
more than they earn.
At first this disillusionment in
financial matters is taken in good grace. But when it persists, then, there is
anxiety, as they realize that their expenses will tend to increase rather than
decrease as time passes. The clothes they had in reserve at the time of their
marriage soon began to tear and would need to be replaced. Then as they
considered the possibility of having children, they virtualized their expenses
mounting rapidly.
Under any circumstances financial
problem in a home constitute a major consideration. The amount of money
available to a family and the way it spent determine the standards of living of
that family. Thus the consideration of money is basic in the establishing and
operation of all family policies.
Inasmuch as financial problems loom
large and ominously even in what seem to be an average family situation, it can
be worse in families in which there are complicating circumstances. In all
families financial problems is potential social dynamite, which, if not
properly handled may endanger the integrity of the family unit.
One of these complicating factors that
worsen the financial problems in newly established home results from a
situation in which the wife was used to a higher standard of living than what
her husband’s limited income can now provide. This is a situation that should
have received attention during the period of courtship.
Many young men have mistakenly assumed
that they are being smart in asking for the hand of a rich man’s daughter in
marriage, not realizing the difficulties the young woman who was accustomed to
a standard of living far higher than what they can avoid would face. Under this
circumstance, once the glamour of the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon have
passed it is quite natural that the woman would ask her parents to come to her
rescue.
As a result, parents-in-law problems
may become superimposed upon the financial problems, and the young husband,
even though doing his best to cope becomes embarrassed either because of his
inability to maintain the standard of living to which his wife is used to or
because of his feeling of insecurity if the wife’s parents choose to subsidize
his income.
Likewise tension may develop when the
reduction of purchasing power forces itself upon the young woman who was
gainfully employed before her marriage but now chooses to devote her time to
homemaking. Prior to marriage she was able to plan her expenditures and savings
without having to give in to any interference. She was entirely in command of
her own affairs and could purchase clothes and any of her needs without
consulting anyone else. Now she is surprised to find that the cost of
maintaining a home swallows up such a huge sum of her husband’s income that her
purchasing power seems suddenly reduced to the barest minimum.
When a wife has more money than her
husband, we have the situation in which the wife may more or less unconsciously
force her husband into an attitude of comprise in financial matters. The
husband is rightly spoken as the head of the house, and even though this should
not give him any reason to resort to unreasonable domination of the home, it is
desirable that he should be the leader in those matters which involve
relationship between
n the family and the outside world. The macho man finds it hard to become adjusted to a situation in which his influence is entirely subordinated to that of his wife. Consciously or otherwise, it gets him down to play the role of performer on the second fiddle.
n the family and the outside world. The macho man finds it hard to become adjusted to a situation in which his influence is entirely subordinated to that of his wife. Consciously or otherwise, it gets him down to play the role of performer on the second fiddle.
When some wives realize that they are
unable to purchase those things which their hearts desire, it is more natural
for them to think in terms of increasing the family income than giving up their
cherished items. There are only two rational ways to imbalance a family budget:
to increase the income to met the expenditures, or to reduce the expenditures
to fit the income. Most of the women will assume that their husbands should be
making more money for their families. Consequently, a common complaint which a
wife makes against her husband is that he lacks sufficient enthusiasm to earn
enough money to support the family adequately.
It is true; however, that there are
different type of husbands – some are ambitious others are indolent. Some women
are known to be extravagant so a wife’s inability to nurture her expensive
taste cannot be used as a yardstick to judge her husband’s industry or
ambition. If a husband is doing his best, he is entitled to the sympathy and
cooperation of his wife in cheerfully accepting whatever circumstances may be
imposed upon them by inadequate funds.
The husband could even become
discouraged because of his wife’s lack of appreciation. Before making complaint
that her husband is lazy, the woman should be sure that she is fully aware of
the circumstances under which the man is struggling.
The counter-complaint which husbands
tend to lodge against their wives is that they are spendthrifts and lack an
appreciation of the value of money and their efforts. Here again the actual
situation may be simply a cover for some deeper lying difficulties Just as
there are all kinds of husbands so there are all kinds of wives- some
extravagant and some frugal.
Perhaps some wives tend toward
extravagance as a means of rebelling against their husbands’ unwillingness to
take them into their confidence in financial matters. It is possible that their
experiences in financial matters are so meager that they do not understand the
basic principle underlying the necessary balance between income and
expenditure. In either of these instances the problem should be subject to an
establishment of absolute confidence between husband and wife to the extent
that the two share the responsibility of maintaining financial equilibrium
within the home.
Any couple living beyond their income,
and incurring debts they have no means of paying, are burning out their
self-respect and the respect of others, their peace of mind, their integrity,
the character which is their capital, and inevitably, their chances of
advancement and success.
The family relationship is a
cooperative venture. If the couple has agreed that the husband should work
while the wife looks after the home, then the money which the husband earns is
not his to possess. Thus it is clear that the handling of funds should be
mutually discussed, with the wife having a say.
How to get enough money is a very
important issue. It is a universal problem. Most families never have enough
money to meet their needs. Human wants and desires have a way of keeping always
ahead of the source of income. Money is always scarce. The basic thing every
family should direct its attention has to do with the best method of handling
and controlling the money that is available so as to bring the expenditures
within the limitations of the available funds.
A school of thought is of the opinion
that the problem can be solved by the establishing of a family budget. So the
first practical step is to establish a workable family budget. A family budget
should not be a theoretical or idealistic sort of document. It should be a
practical, workable document stating how the family funds should be
appropriated. An important part of any successful budget plan is savings. This
will help to prepare adequately for the future. The best homes are not
necessarily those in which the most money is spent. The best homes are those in
which the members are willing to compromise in order to ensure unalloyed
happiness in the homes.
The couple must plan a time to sit
down together and go over financial matters. They need to decide together what
spending, saving, and budgeting plans are best for the family. Identify ways
each of you can adjust or change to meet the common goal of financial
responsibility.
In today’s materialistic world, you
are always bombarded with advertisements encouraging you to have many wants.
Some people cannot differentiate these wants from needs. They therefore feel
they must have everything even when they can ill-afford them. You should not
join this group of people. Make your purchasing decisions based on wisdom and
sound financial practice, and carefully avoid decisions based on emotion or
self-indulgence. If your husband’s income cannot accommodate a new car, make do
with the old one until a new one is feasible. No matter what your family income
is, you must put a limit on your spending in order to stay within the budget.
The family should have a budget based
on income to control expenditures just like a large organization which operates
under a budget control system. Every couple is different. In some families, the
wife is the keeper of the finances; in others, the husband is; and many, money
matters are handled equally by both spouses.
Saving is one of the principles of a
successful marriage. In the absence of relevant knowledge of what to do in
preparing a saving program, the counsel of your banker
should be sought to
assist in setting up your program of savings. It is not how much you earn that
matters; it is how much you are able to save. A good wife should be an
excellent budgeter and a thrifty spender. When you establish a systematic
program of savings, you are investing in your future and that of your children.
You need to save some money for your children’s education. Costs of education are increasing at a rapid
rate. You may not save or invest adequately unless you do so systemically. The
sooner you start, the less stressful it will be when the time comes for your
children to go off to school.
A smart plan for the future will also
evaluate the transportation needs of the family. The couple needs to discuss
you they need two cars or one will do. If available transportation allows the
couple to avoid the purchase of a car, they should be wise to do so. Several
practical matters need to be raised when assessing the purchasing of a car:
available fund, public transportation system, distance of office from home,
arrival of children, and so forth. If a car is needed it will be wise to begin
setting money aside for the purchase of the car.
Retirement may seem many years away to
young couple, but prudent financial planning includes a retirement plan.
Reliable financial planners are available for responsible counsel on the
matter. Finding some insurance coverage for a young family in case the husband
or wife becomes incapacitated is important.
Sound financial planning will also
include meeting the medical bills of the family. As the family enlarges, the
need for adequate coverage under any circumstances makes health consideration a
vital issue in planning for the future. Many jobs provide health insurance or
pay the medical bills of their employees. If this does not exist, such matters
should be discussed and solution put in place.
The care of your aging parents will
need to be planned for. To know and understand how your spouse feels about the
finances for such need can be revealing and significant. No one can plan foe
all events, other situations will be addressed as they occur.
Maintain as little debt as possible.
Whatever financial mistakes you may have made in the past, start today to make
amend by being responsible with the resources available to your family.
No comments:
Post a Comment