THE KIND OF MEN TO AVOID IF YOU WANT A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

 

INTRODUCTION

Some women enter relationships even marriage with men they barely know. People divorce but they don’t think they will. When you choose a partner, you should realize you are choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children. Someone they will look up to as a role model. This is a very important life decision to get right because after some women have gotten it wrong, they do everything they can to keep their relationships at all cost with the hope that their commitment will be reciprocated. I know that many of us wonder why many good, smart and otherwise logical women end up choosing life partners that leave them dissatisfied and unhappy. The ability of a man to enter into a loving long-term relationship is dependent on his character and personality.   Men and women have different characteristics and qualities that when properly combined, achieve completion, harmony and the balance that makes relationships sustainable. The more you think about the long term consequences of making a bad choice, the more likely it is that you will make the right choice. So knowing how overwhelmingly important it is to pick the right life partner, a single woman should give it a serious thought and not rely on fate, hoping for the best after the mistake has been made. So when you have to make a choice always avoid men with the following characteristics.

LIAR

Trust is the lubricant of relationships because where there is high level of trust between partners marital bliss flourishes.  When your partner willingly deceives you, it is obvious he cannot be trusted; as a result you are not likely to have a happy married life. A liar will often make promises he cannot keep. He will make up stories which are not true. In order for your relationship to flourish, you have to be able to rely on him. The fundamental quality for a happy married life is trust. If you can no longer trust your partner, this is automatic red flag that the marriage is in danger. If you are dating a man who is prone to lying and making up stories, it will do you a world of good to quit the relationship.

ABUSIVE MAN

If you feel you are being bullied and manipulated by your partner, it is advisable to end the relationship. I have heard women complain of their partner; “He beats me. I’m tired of being beaten.” Another had said, “I had to leave my husband. He beats me such that my life was in danger. I was in the hospital for months.” Apart from beating, another form of abuse is not being allowed to make decisions. He will decide the persons you can or cannot talk to, the type of dresses you can or cannot wear. He tries to dominate or intimidate you at any time. They are usually jealous and suspicious of your relationship with others and try to keep tabs on you at every moment of the day. It is important you let him know from day one that there is an extend you are willing to bend backwards. If you don’t, he will believe you are desperate to stay in the relationship and the more he will expect you to bend. You are supposed to be the one who gets to decide what you can or cannot do.

WOMANIZER

 

When you first meet a chronic cheater, you will wonder why some women have not walked with him down the aisle long ago. No matter how you approach him with caution, his charm and persistence will win you over. His lovely treatment will make you want to take the relationship to the next level. If you are looking for a long term relationship, drop the womanizer and try to meet someone else who is also looking for a lasting and deep relationship. However, if you are dating a womanizer, this next phase may not come. Womanizers are players, and always want to keep your relationship in a superficial level without any serious commitment. They are often vague about their whereabouts and plans; and are constantly texting other women. Then when you start thinking of introducing him to your family, he will suddenly disappear.  He will not introduce you to his family or friends which go to show that he is not considering any serious and lasting relationship.  In the end, they will break your heart, shatter your ego and get you frustrated. A lady has regretted marrying her husband. She married him because he was wealthy without taking other things into consideration. It was her worst mistake in life, she claimed. He proposed to her after several months of dating and she gladly accepted. During their honeymoon, he did not make any physical contact with her but was rather completely absorbed in pressing his phone. When he fell asleep, she took his phone and discovered he had been chatting with several women.

SELFISH MAN

Selfish men will only think of themselves. They always put their interests first. Any man you date who show little interest in your needs and emotions is selfish and should be left immediately. Marrying such a man will end in frustrating experiences and even divorce.

ARROGANT MAN

Arrogant man always feels that he is the greatest man on earth. He has an over-inflated ego and he tries to show that he is an expert at virtually everything. He is usually brilliant and accomplished which contributes to making him have unflagging belief in his infallibility. No decision you take is always right. If the man, you are currently dating have this characteristics you should look for someone else.

LAZY MAN

When you are dating it is not only the man that should do all things but when he puts no efforts in the relationship; you have to always contact him and have to do everything to keep the relationship afloat, then the relationship is not balanced. He depends on you to pay most of the bills when you go out on a date. You are with the wrong man if he takes advantage of your nurturing and caretaking. Both of you should create time to be together and get to know each other. If you do all the giving and he only receives without giving anything in return, this relationship will not end well. He has the ability to get into your wallets as well as your bed. If he feels nonchalant about earning a living, then you should better spend your time with someone else.

MOM’S MAN

He is affectionate and understanding but unfortunately, he is still tied to his mom’s control. His mother influences his decisions in virtually all areas of his life. She decides the type of woman he should date, where he should live, who he should vote for and even the car he should drive. You are bound to have a running battle with his mother if you decide to marry such a man. He has no clear values. He is weak and irresolute.

UNCOMMITTED MAN

This man is not committed to the relationship. It is off and on type of relationship. He will go out with you for some time on dates and you will no longer hear from him for some time. When you have concluded that he is gone, he will call most likely in the night. You cannot depend on the man who calls you when he wants to, maybe because he is bored or because he is looking for company or fun. You should look for a man who places priority on having you in his life. You should avoid this kind of man whose intention is to use and dump you.

UNAFFECTIONATE MAN

Dating a man who is emotionally unavailable is a great challenge. He may never open up to you. He keeps his opinions bottled up. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship, it is best to avoid such a man because he will never let you fully into his life. He will always keep you at arm’s length and will never let his guard down. This attitude will make it very difficult if not impossible to getting to know the real person you are dating. 

CONCLUSION

When you fail to make the right choice, don’t attempt to foist responsibility for your failed marriage on others. Marrying the wrong man will undermine your characters, weaken your resolve and diminish your humanity. Most times, women don’t accept complete responsibility for their lives. They continually complain, criticise and make endless excuses. They blame the men for the things in their lives about which they are not happy. The consequences of this way of thinking, however, can be disastrous in achieving harmony in marriage. They sabotage all hopes of achieving success and happiness in marriage. The best remedy is to choose carefully and wisely when you decide to marry.

 

 

THE KIND OF WOMEN TO AVOID IF YOU WANT A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

 

 God created man and woman with distinct qualities and traits and when married are supposed to take a selfless and loving position in each other’s lives. Such a relationship means you come together to make each other better. It is not all about you. Women have flaws, weaknesses, and faults, including the men so when they are joined in marriage, they will experience challenges along the way. The only panacea is for both to develop goodness, faithfulness and self-control. A woman’s words, attitudes and actions have a powerful impact on the peace in the home .No marriage is devoid of challenges, but having a great relationship and blissful marriage is possible if you choose your partner with caution. Women are the tone-setters for our homes. There are women that can create problems through the negative tones they set. Here are some of them:

UNSUPPORTIVE WOMEN

Any woman who does not support your goals will not make a good wife. If you make the mistake to marry this kind of woman, you will regret it. You need a wife who will support you with your dreams and visions as much as you are expected to support her with hers. You need a wife who will make you better and encourage you to go beyond average. Both of you should be able to pull the greatness from within each other. Find a woman who willingly shares responsibilities. You will work as a team. Find a woman who values your opinions and a willingness to learn. A good woman will help her man with encouragement and ideas and help him save and invest his money wisely.

VERY CRITICAL WOMEN       

 Women who choose to live positively through the storms of life should be embraced. Those of them who always have negative things to say about people and things around them should be avoided. When your partner complains about a situation, she is just letting you know what she finds annoying, displeasing or frustrating. But when she criticizes you, she is attacking your character or personality. Good women will avoid condescending phrases or character attacks.  A woman that loves her partner will respect him and not insult him unnecessarily. Her words will be gracious and a balm to his heart. Critical women make mountains out of mole hills. A critical spirit has the ability to prevent good relationship and often produce retaliatory critical response.

COMPLAINING WOMEN

They are some women who complain about everything you do or say. Run away from such women. They will give you high blood pressure. You will never know peace. If  you buy them gift maybe a bag they would preferred a pair of shoes. They are unappreciative of any gift they receive. They always want something else. Anything you do is not acceptable to them.

TALKATIVE WOMEN

Most women like talking but the ones that talk unendingly should be avoided. A talkative woman will not know when she will leak family secrets. A woman who will make a good wife will know when to talk and when to keep quiet. Decent women will listen more and talk less. Whenever, they should speak clearly, thoughtfully, and respectfully.

PRETENTIOUS WOMEN

If your woman is a pretender, then you are in serious trouble. It means you can never trust her and trust is very essential in all relationships. A pretentious woman is good at lying and pretending to be a good person. She makes life miserable and often cause family quarrels and regrettable misunderstandings.

DEFENSIVE WOMEN

Defensiveness occurs when the guilty person refuses to apologize or back down from a conflict. Instead a defensive woman will give excuses for her behaviour and even blame her partner as the guilty person. Defensiveness results in a serious standoff between couples. There is wisdom in accepting when we are wrong. Some things are worth fighting for; some things are not. Sometimes some women want to win at all cost that they will not let an issue go.

SELFISH WOMEN

You can never be happy with a woman that thinks only of herself. Taking care of another person’s need requires maturity and self-control. Marriage, like all relationships, involves give and take. It is not about selfish interests and desires. When a woman loves, she is able to get her selfish needs and desires out of her mind. But a selfish woman is always thoughtless and resentful.

DISHONEST WOMEN

Honesty is one of the most important traits of a pleasing personality. If you marry a dishonest woman, you will never have a happy marriage. Love and marry a woman who is honest. Honest with you all the time. Deceit and dishonesty are obstacles to a happy married life. The form of deceit which is cunningly laid out and unworthily carried on under the disguise of love is, of all the most detestable. A woman cannot be justified in deceiving or misleading her partner. Still less, then, is she justified in inspiring confidence by smooth words and a gracious manner, only that she may further her selfish end by breaking the trust placed in her.

UNFORGIVING WOMEN

It is difficult to move forward in any relationship when you are thinking of the wrong done you in the past. If your woman is fond of dwelling on past bitterness, you have to step back and reconsider your relationship’ it could mean that she is naturally unforgiving. Some of the reason why some women are unforgiving are ; adultery, domestic abuse, assault, horrible lies, great injustice, damaging gossips etc. The offence may have caused a deep pain. If you have caused such a pain to a woman that loved, trusted you and gave you access to her heart, you should make efforts to apologize and pet her because you betrayed her and she feels devastated. Frustrations, disappointments, hurts and sadness can make a loving woman bitter. The offence to you may look minor but bitterness correlates to the extent the woman loves you. Sometimes it is difficult to admit we are wrong. If all your efforts to make amend fails, you should not continue with the relationship because bitter women have natural tendency toward retaliation.

RESENTFUL WOMEN

Avoiding resentful women will save you from tragedies that will result if you continue down the destructive path of anger and resentment. Some men know that the woman they want to marry have anger issue but still go ahead racing ahead towards a head-on collision with her blemished character. During courtship some women show many times that when angry they could be very dangerous. But they don’t take them serious believing her violent temper will never be a threat to their happy marriage. Couples who have had happy marriage are those who have learned to control their temper.

CONTEMPTUOUS WOMEN

Contemptuous women show disgust for their spouses such as name-calling, mocking, condescending hum or belittling, demeaning and body language (rolling of the eyes, huffing, glaring and sneering). Their contemptuous behavior will grow worse over the time if nothing concrete is done leading to accumulation of unresolved conflicts which stack negative thoughts into a mountain of disgust. Contemptuous women’s belligerence and aggressive actions could provoke you into harming them. This will invariably worsen the conflict and pushes you further from reconciliation, thereby living parallel lives. This will lead to separate financial lives and even separate bedrooms. This could include turning to ignore you, turning her back and walking away from you or simply surfing the internet or tuning up the television when you attempt to talk with her. A decent woman will not look down on her partner because of his present state of life and financial status but will encourage you to become better.

CONCLUSION

No human is perfect but if she has no respect for you it will be almost impossible to have happy  marriage.  If you see a woman who believes in your dream, who respects you, who is committed and who is not all about herself alone then you should not let her go. Marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person but you must be able to withstand her weaknesses and traits .it will be almost impossible to have a happy marriage with a woman with four and above flaws mentioned above. You need a woman you can weep on her shoulders without feeling ashamed and someone that you want to be there with you through thick and thin. Do not settle for