One of the commonest evidence that a person has not yet developed full maturity of his personality is the tendency to give way to fits of temper. Most husbands become angry whenever they did not get their ways or whenever something happened that wounded their sense of personal pride. Some husbands not only speak most unkindly to their wives but resort to threats and sometimes throw their shoes at the women or whatever other objects that may be handy.
Some women are also capable of uncontrollably anger. Some become angry when their husbands forget to fulfill some promises made. The commonest cause of anger is keeping of late night by their husbands because it is believed that they must have been with other women.
Practically all cases of temper date from early childhood. Habits are formed more quickly when we are young, but if we have already passed the youthful flexible period it is now time to put our temper under control. Some had throughout childhood had indulged in their temper as a mean of coercing their parents into cooperating with them. They had frequently gotten their way by throwing tantrum whenever their will was crossed.
This same tendency followed into their adolescence with very little change. Even during their young adult years they still used their fits of temper as a means of demanding their own way. As they married they found that their reaction to having their will crossed remained the same as when they were children.
The only difference was that some spouses were unwilling to give in to their partners’ tantrum as their parents had been. Some wives had certain strength of their own and had not been willing to accede to their husbands, as their parents used to, by giving in allowing them their ways simply because of the threat of a fit of temper.
The high price to pay for uncontrolled temper is losing the esteem of your partner, and setting such an example before your children portend the danger that they would lose their respect for you and their own personalities would suffer as the result of the unhappy home environment.
Happy home have been created by couples that have learned to control themselves. The control of anger is the ability to analyze the causes of your difficulty rather than to react with a fit of anger. Anger is like a parasite that grows with the growth of the supporting body, and, like a parasite, it can be killed by separation and crushing.
It had been observed that a person is most apt to give to temper when life is stormy and all seems against him, that is when he resorts more to anger. On such occasions his store of nervous energy and his ability to exercise self-control is at low ebb. You should therefore adopt the definite policy of delaying the settlement of any difficulty until such time as you are calm.
The control of grievances which tend to build up in a person’s mind until he finally becomes very angry, that he imagines all kinds of retaliation. This pent-up antagonism is a potent producer of trouble and should be dissipated before one finds occasion to take his partner to task. One of the best ways of relieving this pent-up emotion is to engage in some profitable and enjoyable physical exercise. Visiting of friends and taking a walk can work wonders and making you more tolerant of those who have provoked you. Every time you succeed in controlling your temper you break the chain that enslaved you.
In order to help create a happy home, wives should treat their husbands kindly and avoid rebuttal whenever they felt ill at ease and tempted to a fit of anger. This is not with the thought of giving in to his whim, but simply in recognition of the principle that when an angry outburst is met with calmness and patience, the flurry of anger soon passes, curbing the tempted one to regain his composure and consider the immediate situation impartially and unemotionally.