Breaking up sucks! Your
relationship with the man you love has come and gone, but now you want him
back. Some people will advise, just forget your ex and move on. But you can’t. He
might resist, but it is be possible to make him love you again even more than
the last time you were together. But that’s not always easy.
Don’t beat yourself
over it. No relationship is void of challenges or its fair share of differences
of opinion. Everyone has flaws, weaknesses, and faults and equally react
differently after a breakup. Sometimes, you just need to give the relationship
one more chance. You just know deep in your heart that if only you could get
another chance with your ex, things would work out better. You want to know
whether it is possible to get him back when he has said that it was over
between you. Yes, it is possible. It just might be the best risk you'll ever
take! This hub is written to give you a lift and a boost of encouragement.
Review
what caused the breakup
Knowing what caused your breakup is important
because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how
you can possibly correct it in the future. The important thing is to realize
there were mistakes you made and you should endeavor not make them again. Your
relationship can still be saved if you don’t repeat these mistakes again. The
best thing you can do to repair the damage done is to follow these steps
diligently. This hub will teach you how to start a new relationship with your
ex; a relationship that actually has a chance of becoming a healthy
relationship.
Chances are, you’ve already
made a number of mistakes after the breakup before reading this hub. The most
important thing for you to do right now is to realize that these mistakes will
not help you get him back and stop doing them right away. This hub is not
referring to abusive relationships. There is a time when a girl must stand up,
get away, and protect herself from harm.
Avoid contact
As part of your
healing, you need to stop all communication with your ex, directly or
indirectly. There are so many ways to contact each other these days. You can
call him on phone, text him, post update on your facebook account or his
timeline, tweet him, or post pictures in instagram, etc. Resist the urge. He will call you if he wants
to talk. If he doesn't, nothing you say will change that. Sometimes, ignoring
your ex makes him feel like you are perfectly doing well without him, which is
the exact opposite of what he wants.
After a reasonable time when you are no longer
in a mess as you were after the breakup, you can contact him. Before then, you
must have made a few positive changes in your life. When you see him again
after the period of avoidance, you will have the opportunity to prove to him
how much you’ve changed, which means that you would have used this period to
make some actual changes in your life.
Focus
on yourself
Keep yourself constructively occupied. Throw
yourself into work and other extracurricular activities, such as hanging out
with your friends. Don't even look like you're dejected. Let him know you're
moving on by going to the library and the gym. This will definitely make him
think you are moving on with your life. You will feel stronger and more in
control of your life. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will
have less time to miss your ex-boyfriend.
Don’t put your
self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back
`burner just so you could be with your ex. if you agree to be a doormat, your
ex will keep you around to satisfy their emotional or sexual needs, but they
won’t commit to you. Don’t try to use pity to get your Ex back. Pity doesn't
work. No one wants to be with a sad person. If you want to get your ex back,
you will have to learn to be happy. If nothing else, at least act like you are
not miserable.
Do something non-committal like have a drink
with friends or play miniature golf. Don’t be seen flirting with other men. .
Taking a break from relationships will not only show that you still have
feelings for your ex, but it will also demonstrate maturity and lack of
neediness. Some women believe that the best way to get their exes back is to
flirt with other men while their ex is nearby thinking it will make him jealous
and want them back. You don't need to sleep with them, but spending time with
other men or women will let your ex know that you are on the prowl. , if you
want to get your ex back, don’t act like you’re trying find another man to take
home.
Consider
your lifestyle
When you first fell in
love with your partner, what about you did he love? Try to think back to when
the two of you first got together. Was it your humor, or maybe your amazing
sense of fashion? In giving, we receive. Did you neglect your look when you’d
settled into your relationship? If you have changed for the worst, perhaps you've
developed some bad habits or let your fears and worries get the best of you,
this the time for you to be the person he fell in love with because he felt
good with you and you were fulfilling their emotional needs. Correct bad habits
and mistakes.
Pay
attention to your appearance
Pay some attention to
your appearance if you have been neglecting your looks. I highly recommend
doing a closet overhaul. Get a few items of new clothing, alter your hairstyle.
In fact, the key to a good wardrobe is not having more clothes, but having the
right clothes. Get your nails and hair done. Take a nice warm bubble bath. The
problem with comparing yourself with others is that there will always be people
who are prettier than you, and there will always be people who are uglier than
you. Your goal is not to look more beautiful than the next girl, but rather to
look your best by taking care of yourself. Make yourself stand out and seem
fresh from what your ex remembers of you. Make sure this change is subtle and
not over the top.
Do
not get jealous if he’s seeing other girls
The thought of your ex
being with someone else could be frustrating, but even if he having fun with
his life doesn’t necessarily mean he is over you. The truth could be that, your
ex probably in a rebound relationship. And almost all of the rebound relationships
don’t last. It doesn’t necessarily mean he will completely get over you anytime
soon. If you start to complain and whine, you will instantly drive your ex
further away to that third party. On the other hand, respect his choices and
freedom. Do not let jealousy set in. jealous people never get ahead in life,
and prevents others from succeeding. Jealousy is a sign of poor self-esteem. Trust
that if there was true happiness between you and if your ex wants to be happy,
they'll eventually see that getting back together is the best choice. He just needs
time to sort himself out.
Have
patience and faith
If you struggle with
neediness, you're probably a little lacking in self-esteem. Have patience and
faith and keep doing the right thing. Even though the results may not be
visible, something is happening. Expect the best and get it. If you are looking
for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, then you are wrong, the
fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. Happy people think
positively, act positively, project confidence, verve, and enthusiasm. You
shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. He might feel guilty, obligated and
eventually, resentful towards you.
Invite
your ex to talk to you
Call him and suggest a
casual date by phone. No texts. No emails. Let him hear your voice he once
loved and register some sincere effort on your part. It will give you the
chance to get together in a relaxed environment and discuss the possibility of
comeback. But remember, accepting your invite is not a sure sign he wants to
get back together, but that is a good starting point. If he turns you down,
give him more time.
Prepare your first words
The first thing that
you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will
lose the chance to get him back. Epictetus said, “Circumstances do not make the
man; they reveal him to himself.” You need to understand that even though
you're not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings
for you. To achieve something that you have never achieved before, you must
learn and practice qualities and skills that you never had before. Express
regret that things didn't work out between the two of you. Ask him if you can
talk about it now that you have some perspective. Tell him you miss him.
Do not react to his
request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. The more you see
yourself a valuable and important person, the more positive and optimistic you
will be. Begging and pleading doesn't work. It’s one of the most common
reactions to the breakup. Begging and pleading makes you look cheap. And that
is very unattractive. Whenever you act consistently with who consider an
excellent person to be, your self-image improves and your self-esteem
increases. You like and respect yourself more. You feel happy about yourself
and others. The more you like yourself, the more you like others, and the more
they like you in return. And even if your begging worked, it’s going to lead to
a relationship where you will end up being a doormat. Therefore, prevent
expressing unwanted and unnecessary affection to ex.
Use
the past to your advantage
Take advantage of what
you have known about him. Wear you outfit he used to admire for the meeting.
During the meeting, try to share a lighthearted memory with him. Invite him to a
familiar place you used to enjoy good times together. Listen carefully to his
choice of words. Not listening is one of the commonest barriers of
communication. If you’ve done your homework correctly, you will be oozing
confidence and attractiveness out of every inch of your body, and he will not
missed your new confidence. This subconsciously tells him that you have
undergone some changes.
Apologize
If you did something
hurtful, make a real apology, but not beg. Forgiveness is a key element in any
relationship. True love doesn't mean having a relationship of ease; it means
making the continual choice to love and forgive. Think deeply about anything
you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the
relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology.
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