There is no perfect marriage, but marriage can be
devoid of serious challenges or its fair share of frequent differences of
opinion. No one has a perfect situation at home, because there is no perfect
person. It is only God who is perfect. Everyone has flaws, weaknesses, and
faults. From youth to old age there is a progression of circumstances which
challenges the adaptability and ingenuity of husband and wife at every turn.
Human personalities have a way of changing from year
to year, so that characteristics and traits may blossom out in the middle which
was not there at the beginning. This is why whenever two individuals are meshed
together in marriage they will experience challenges along the way. What
matters is how they handle those challenges. Did they respond to them in positive
and healing way or did them response in a destructive and negative way. Some
homes are battle field, where neighbors regularly come to separate fight.
If such a condition does prevail in your family, this
is to remind you that you definitely have the power to change your life within
the family and recapture that spark of joy you once envisioned for your
marriage. When a family lives together in affection and mutual respect, it
results in happiness. When the family is disrupted by misunderstanding and
conflict it creates an unhealthy atmosphere, one of continuing adverse effect
in the lives of all especially children in the home.
Life, fully lived includes marriage; as God ordered
us to go into the world and multiply. Marriage is supposed to be the blending
of the lives of two individuals. Marriage institution is divinely ordained as
can be seen in Genesis 2:24 ,
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto
his wife; and they shall be one flesh.”
Success and happiness in marriage do not come
accidentally. Too many individuals look forward to marriage with innocent
expectation, assuming that marriage will make them eternally happy. Even though
they know that marriages sometimes fail, they believe theirs will be successful
and that happiness will naturally ensue after marriage.
Success and happiness in marriage depend on whether
the couple gives heed to the simple principles that will help develop deeper
and more meaningful relationship between them. Every married person has the
opportunity to move his marriage in a positive direction even in the midst of
challenges or disappointments. Marriage is what the marital couple makes it. If
they are indifferent toward those principles that ensure success in marriage,
their marriage will be a haphazard relationship with many ups and downs, and
with growing uncertainty as to its success.
But if each gives sincere attention to the factors
which pertain to success in marriage, the relationship will be stable and will
provide a wholesome and pleasant background for a better life. The price of
maintaining a successful marriage is high but the dividends are eternal, and
the end reward exceeds the cost. The price is not measured in dollars and cents
or in the acquisition of fleet of expensive cars or home of modern
architectural design with state- of- the –art furniture or expensive and
elaborate wardrobes.
Happiness can be very elusive but I promise you that
it is not impossible to capture. The price of marital bliss is made up of
disciplines, attitudes, loyalties, and insights of such nature that enables
couples from different cultural or religious background blend their
personalities harmoniously so that the marital bond between them transcends the
consideration of natural differences.
Happiness has
a variety of contradictory meanings. Most people think that happiness can only
come when they are wealthy. Few understand that happiness can only be
experienced in the now. It is very possible for a couple poor in material
possessions to have a happy marriage which far exceeds anything that money can
buy, at the same times this does not mean that money is not necessary for a
successful marriage but not a lot of it.
A careful study of marriage relations is a worthy
one. It will help to avert the heartaches of marriage and the resultant
failures. Many marriages are reasonably successful and bring considerable
happiness. But by a more complete understanding of the principles of marriage,
it would be much easier for the partners in moderately successful marriages to
experience greater degrees of success and happiness.
Marital happiness is a measurable reality, and there
are many yardsticks on which it may be judged. Happily married people agree in
matters of finance, they agree in their choices of friends, in their selections
of recreation and most importantly in their philosophies of life.
Happiness does not come by coincidence; it is joy
that comes to the couples who painstakingly design their lives on the
principles of mutual respect. Happiness is achieved by giving and receiving,
sowing and reaping. It resides in the homes of married couples who have the
ability to handle disappointment without losing their sense of well-being. It
belongs to dedicated couples who are in control of both their circumstances and
their emotions.
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