Thursday, 18 December 2014


Breaking up sucks! Your relationship with the man you love has come and gone, but now you want him back. Some people will advise, just forget your ex and move on. But you can’t. He might resist, but it is be possible to make him love you again even more than the last time you were together. But that’s not always easy.  
Don’t beat yourself over it. No relationship is void of challenges or its fair share of differences of opinion. Everyone has flaws, weaknesses, and faults and equally react differently after a breakup. Sometimes, you just need to give the relationship one more chance. You just know deep in your heart that if only you could get another chance with your ex, things would work out better. You want to know whether it is possible to get him back when he has said that it was over between you. Yes, it is possible. It just might be the best risk you'll ever take! This hub is written to give you a lift and a boost of encouragement.
Review what caused the breakup
 Knowing what caused your breakup is important because it can give you an idea of where your relationship went wrong and how you can possibly correct it in the future. The important thing is to realize there were mistakes you made and you should endeavor not make them again. Your relationship can still be saved if you don’t repeat these mistakes again. The best thing you can do to repair the damage done is to follow these steps diligently. This hub will teach you how to start a new relationship with your ex; a relationship that actually has a chance of becoming a healthy relationship.
Chances are, you’ve already made a number of mistakes after the breakup before reading this hub. The most important thing for you to do right now is to realize that these mistakes will not help you get him back and stop doing them right away. This hub is not referring to abusive relationships. There is a time when a girl must stand up, get away, and protect herself from harm.
Avoid contact        
As part of your healing, you need to stop all communication with your ex, directly or indirectly. There are so many ways to contact each other these days. You can call him on phone, text him, post update on your facebook account or his timeline, tweet him, or post pictures in instagram, etc.  Resist the urge. He will call you if he wants to talk. If he doesn't, nothing you say will change that. Sometimes, ignoring your ex makes him feel like you are perfectly doing well without him, which is the exact opposite of what he wants.
 After a reasonable time when you are no longer in a mess as you were after the breakup, you can contact him. Before then, you must have made a few positive changes in your life. When you see him again after the period of avoidance, you will have the opportunity to prove to him how much you’ve changed, which means that you would have used this period to make some actual changes in your life.
Focus on yourself
 Keep yourself constructively occupied. Throw yourself into work and other extracurricular activities, such as hanging out with your friends. Don't even look like you're dejected. Let him know you're moving on by going to the library and the gym. This will definitely make him think you are moving on with your life. You will feel stronger and more in control of your life. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex-boyfriend.      
Don’t put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back `burner just so you could be with your ex. if you agree to be a doormat, your ex will keep you around to satisfy their emotional or sexual needs, but they won’t commit to you. Don’t try to use pity to get your Ex back. Pity doesn't work. No one wants to be with a sad person. If you want to get your ex back, you will have to learn to be happy. If nothing else, at least act like you are not miserable.
 Do something non-committal like have a drink with friends or play miniature golf. Don’t be seen flirting with other men. . Taking a break from relationships will not only show that you still have feelings for your ex, but it will also demonstrate maturity and lack of neediness. Some women believe that the best way to get their exes back is to flirt with other men while their ex is nearby thinking it will make him jealous and want them back. You don't need to sleep with them, but spending time with other men or women will let your ex know that you are on the prowl. , if you want to get your ex back, don’t act like you’re trying find another man to take home.
Consider your lifestyle
When you first fell in love with your partner, what about you did he love? Try to think back to when the two of you first got together. Was it your humor, or maybe your amazing sense of fashion? In giving, we receive. Did you neglect your look when you’d settled into your relationship? If you have changed for the worst, perhaps you've developed some bad habits or let your fears and worries get the best of you, this the time for you to be the person he fell in love with because he felt good with you and you were fulfilling their emotional needs. Correct bad habits and mistakes.
Pay attention to your appearance
Pay some attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting your looks. I highly recommend doing a closet overhaul. Get a few items of new clothing, alter your hairstyle. In fact, the key to a good wardrobe is not having more clothes, but having the right clothes. Get your nails and hair done. Take a nice warm bubble bath. The problem with comparing yourself with others is that there will always be people who are prettier than you, and there will always be people who are uglier than you. Your goal is not to look more beautiful than the next girl, but rather to look your best by taking care of yourself. Make yourself stand out and seem fresh from what your ex remembers of you. Make sure this change is subtle and not over the top.
Do not get jealous if he’s seeing other girls
The thought of your ex being with someone else could be frustrating, but even if he having fun with his life doesn’t necessarily mean he is over you. The truth could be that, your ex probably in a rebound relationship. And almost all of the rebound relationships don’t last. It doesn’t necessarily mean he will completely get over you anytime soon. If you start to complain and whine, you will instantly drive your ex further away to that third party. On the other hand, respect his choices and freedom. Do not let jealousy set in. jealous people never get ahead in life, and prevents others from succeeding. Jealousy is a sign of poor self-esteem. Trust that if there was true happiness between you and if your ex wants to be happy, they'll eventually see that getting back together is the best choice. He just needs time to sort himself out.         
Have patience and faith
If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in self-esteem. Have patience and faith and keep doing the right thing. Even though the results may not be visible, something is happening. Expect the best and get it. If you are looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, then you are wrong, the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. Happy people think positively, act positively, project confidence, verve, and enthusiasm. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. He might feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.
Invite your ex to talk to you
Call him and suggest a casual date by phone. No texts. No emails. Let him hear your voice he once loved and register some sincere effort on your part. It will give you the chance to get together in a relaxed environment and discuss the possibility of comeback. But remember, accepting your invite is not a sure sign he wants to get back together, but that is a good starting point. If he turns you down, give him more time.
 Prepare your first words
The first thing that you say to your ex is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get him back. Epictetus said, “Circumstances do not make the man; they reveal him to himself.” You need to understand that even though you're not together, there is a good chance they still harbor strong feelings for you. To achieve something that you have never achieved before, you must learn and practice qualities and skills that you never had before. Express regret that things didn't work out between the two of you. Ask him if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective. Tell him you miss him.
Do not react to his request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. The more you see yourself a valuable and important person, the more positive and optimistic you will be. Begging and pleading doesn't work. It’s one of the most common reactions to the breakup. Begging and pleading makes you look cheap. And that is very unattractive. Whenever you act consistently with who consider an excellent person to be, your self-image improves and your self-esteem increases. You like and respect yourself more. You feel happy about yourself and others. The more you like yourself, the more you like others, and the more they like you in return. And even if your begging worked, it’s going to lead to a relationship where you will end up being a doormat. Therefore, prevent expressing unwanted and unnecessary affection to ex.
Use the past to your advantage
Take advantage of what you have known about him. Wear you outfit he used to admire for the meeting. During the meeting, try to share a lighthearted memory with him. Invite him to a familiar place you used to enjoy good times together. Listen carefully to his choice of words. Not listening is one of the commonest barriers of communication. If you’ve done your homework correctly, you will be oozing confidence and attractiveness out of every inch of your body, and he will not missed your new confidence. This subconsciously tells him that you have undergone some changes.
If you did something hurtful, make a real apology, but not beg.  Forgiveness is a key element in any relationship. True love doesn't mean having a relationship of ease; it means making the continual choice to love and forgive. Think deeply about anything you did or didn't do that somehow contributed to the downfall of the relationship, and clean the slate by giving your ex a proper apology.

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