Tuesday, 16 September 2014

50 Ways You Can Become a Better Father

Fatherhood involves loads of hard work. It takes strength, courage, and determination. A father is supposed to be a role model in a family but in some families there is lack of positive male roles. It is true too many fathers are absent from home working to provide for the family and unable to take responsibility for their children. When you have made an honest effort to be the best father you can be, your child/children will notice your effort and will have greater respect for you, because with few positive images of fathers around, girls don't know what to look for in a man, and young men don't know how to treat a woman.
By not striving to be the best father you can be, you run the risk of not building a loving bond with your child/children. The most important area of life you can prepare your children for is marriage and family, and their best preparation is to live with a dad who loves their mom.
There are, however, many fathers who are sincerely trying to live up to their responsibilities. Having been married for 27 years, with six children; four college graduates, I can say with conviction that the tips listed below can help you become a better father, which I have tried to be to my children.
  • Be more active in childrearing responsibilities. Help your wife with your crying child when she is busy with other house chores. Get more practice. Don’t assume that raising kids is strictly your wife’s sole responsibility. And the way you’re going to a better father is by helping out. Get more practice. If you don’t know what to do, classes are available to help fathers learn the basics of caregiving. Learning to be an active and involved dad will make you a better father, because leaving everything to your partner makes you miss out in taking care of your child.
  • Take time out from work and be available for your children. Plan to spend quality time with your family. Children who are physically connected to their dads tend to do better in school, more social, and are less likely to get involved in drugs, alcohol, or criminal behavior than children whose dads keep their distance. Take time out from work for family time.
  • Be emotionally available to your children. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions to your family. Physical interaction is undoubtedly an important part of the father-child relationship, but being emotionally available and involved is critical, too.
  • Praise your kid when he performs well; be in in education or sports or any other event. A man makes a lasting mark on his kids' lives when he gives them appropriate praise.
  • Inspire your children. You can give your children lifelong self-worth. How your children perceive their worth in dad's eyes powerfully influences their lives. Your mission as a father is to present to the world a gift from your home properly trained child/children.
  • Show love to your children, by hugging and/or kissing them. Tell your children how much they mean to you. Smile at your children.
  • Work on improving your relationship with your wife because the relationship between husband and wife affects the children in the home. When you yell at your wife frequently, whatever you say about kindness and caring won't count in your children's eyes. Let your children see you sharing love and affection with their mother. When you and your wife have a conflict, show your children, you can make up.
  • When your children have something to tell you, listen to them with all of your attention. Your children's importance to you can be measured by how you attend to them. The toughest thing for most fathers is to learn how to listen to their children.
  • Let your children understand that they will be held accountable for their actions and words. They must adhere to rules.
  • Have a fitness plan in place and get your kids to join in. allowing your children to go obsess is unacceptable. Take them for walks or jogging, and leave the car at home. Make their health and fitness a priority.
  • Admit you’re wrong when you are. If you make mistake, apologize. If you’re unable to keep a promise, or done something to upset your child, make a sincere apology. I haven’t met a father yet who doesn’t make mistakes.
  • Give your children respect you. Don’t do to them those things you didn’t want your parents do to you. Remember the Golden Rule. It does apply to children as well as adults.
  • Help your children in their studies. Help them do their home works. Read stories out loud to the teenagers. Get down on their level and try to see things as they do.
  • Avoid misplaced aggression. Don’t treat your kids harshly because your day in the office was bad.
  • Endeavor to make provision for their education. Open a savings account for your children's education.
  • Be friendly with your children. Reach out to them once in a while, and ask them what you can do better. Then do it better.
  • Be generous. Buy them gifts if he performed well in his/her examination as a form of encouragement. Gives them an incentive to reach greater heights.
  • Allow your kids make their own choices. Some fathers will want to force their children to study some subjects or profession they lack interest in. You can imagine a doctor that hates the sight of blood.
  • Take your family for picnic when you have the time. Explore every park in your neighborhood. It doesn't have to be expensive.
  • Be a patient. Give yourself time to cool off before you react to your children’s actions. Don’t discipline your child when you’re anger. Never call your children names instead of criticizing, offer encouragement because demeaning words from dad inflict deep wounds in children. He is only a good child with bad behavior. The bad behavior can be changed with careful attention.
Show good example because your kids will mirror your actions, so watch what you do or say around them.
  • Parenting is a shared responsibility. Parents need to cooperate and support each other for the sake of the children. It's unfair to your wives that you often come home too tired from our jobs, to be of any help. If any of your child got disciplined in your absence by his/her mother, you should support your wife’s action, or you send wrong signal to the child.
  • If you are confusion about any situation, you can consult elders. Ask them the best to handle the situation. Don’t let excess pride prevent you from seeking help.
  • Visit your children’s school once in a while. Meet their teachers and ask how they are doing academically and see if there is any way you can help.
  • You can teach your children how to be of help to others by volunteering in your neighborhood, church, or school. It will inculcate in them spirit of selfless service.
  • Show love to your children. Don't be afraid to show your tender side. Tender words and affection matter. Studies show that when children don't experience affection at home, they will search for it in self-destructive ways.
  • Read a book about fatherhood and gain knowledge that will help you become a better father.
  • Act as if you’re the best dad ever by cooking a meal for your children once a while as a pleasant surprise.
  • Speak as one with your wife, so your kids don’t play you off on one another. A united family makes children feel secure.
  • Say no when you mean it, and stand by it; even if they don’t like it. Don’t over-pamper them. You could be destroying them instead.
  • Show your wife respect always. Make sure your kids do also.
  • Take the time to really explain things to your children, so they can understand what made you take the decision you took. Don’t just give your kids the answers to questions. Show them how to find the answers. We love to give advice, but only by listening will we learn what their hearts need.
  • Periodically assess your parenting style and change course if needed. Don’t be unhappy or reluctant to change if it will make you a better father.
  • Encourage your children to learn a new skill. Make something by hand with them. Don’t worry about perfection; just enjoy the process builds bond between you.
  • Find out about your family history and share it with your kids to enable them know their root.
  • To prevent financial embarrassment, get out of debt as quick as you can, and teach your kids about the value of being prudent and debt-free.
  • Use every opportunity you’ve got, to show your children that you could be trusted, and the virtue of following your example.
  • Learn to create lively atmosphere in your home by sharing funny jokes and do so often.
  • Hold a family meeting and get your kid to make input on important decisions, especially those that might have impact on their well-being..
  • Have patience with your children’s inadequacies. Don’t expect them to be perfect.
  • Don’t insist on conformity to your choice. Let your kids follow their dreams, not yours.
  • Don’t criticize them in the presence of their friends. They may feel embarrassed and try to revolt. Children take everything you say to heart.
  • Keep your relationship issues between you and your wife from the children, and avoid trying to settle your marital disputes by using your children as pawns.
  • Take your children to your office when possible and explain what you do for a living, this will enable them appreciate what you go through in order to provide for them.
  • Once in a while, give them freedom to socialize with friends.
  • Ensure you keep your promises to your children. When you promise to do something for your kids, do as you promised. If you are unable to meet your promise, explain why and apologize.
  • Give your kids responsibilities and make them to understand that they must sow before they can reap.
  • Plan surprises for them and keep them guessing.
  • Teach your children the spirit of sportsmanship by playing games with them. Let them win sometimes, but don’t make it obvious or easy.
  • Give your wife a day off once in a while, and get the kids to help you do domestic chores, especially during the weekends, when all of you are at home.
  • Don’t allow other adults exhibit unacceptable behavior around your kids. Monitor the type of company they keep in order to protect them from bad influences.

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