Thursday, 19 December 2013

How to Keep Divorce Out of Your Marriage

Any relationship is hard to keep and there is no easy ways to make the relationship last. Most marriages seem happy enough looking in from the outside, but many couples wonder from time to time if they’ll end up being a divorce statistics anyway. They hope that they know how to stop a divorce from happening to them but the truth is that if they do not take action, it is possible for them to drift apart and end up alone. A long lasting marriage needs a lot of work. Life and marriage do not come with any kind of absolute guarantee but there are some things you can do to prevent divorce from happening and save yourself from headaches.
As much as you might feel a little insecure in these times where divorce and remarriages are ever increasing, one thing above all else will help you have a long-term marriage that does not end in divorce. That thing is a mindset built on making your marriage work.
It is well believed that what you think on, what you focus on, you’ll bring into being. So the very first thing you need to do when you marry is to be as certain as you can be on working on a happy, loving and close relationship with spouse. Remember you are building a future together, something of infinite value, something to be treasured and guarded, as if your life depended on it and it actually does.
Keep the communication channels open if you know that you can always talk to your spouse and to be honest with your feelings, and relationship will always work and will last for years. Everyone needs someone to talk to and if you are the type of spouse who keeps the communication lines open, you can prevent marriage failure from happening. Your spouse does not have to look for other people outside the home to talk to because he or she knows that the communication inside the marriage is always open. It is important to be able to communicate well enough to resolve any issue that comes up and this does not evolve overnight. It takes time.
Be open with your feelings especially when things are going bad. Sometimes, relationships fall apart because couples are not open and honest with their feelings. When there are things in the marriage that upsets you or bothers you, it is best to open up, with your spouse and talk about the issue than keep it to yourself. People who are afraid to open up their true feelings to their spouse are vulnerable to extramarital affairs.
Ii is important that you make time for each other. Do things together. Find common interest or hobby and do it together. Doing things together that you both enjoy is a good way to bond with each other. You may need to actively make time together that is devoid of detractions. Bonding activities are important if you want to prevent divorce from happening. You can take photography classes together, go skiing together, watch movies, dance or sing together, participate in charity work together and so on. It does not matter what it is so long as you both enjoy doing it together and it can make a relationship stronger.
Sometimes, do your own thing separately. Spending too much time with each other can be so tiring and overwhelming. To prevent boredom and prevent divorce from happening, you need to take some time alone and do your own thing. At the same time, give your spouse his or her own time to do the things they want to do. For him it may be playing basketball with their friends and for her it may be shopping or going to a salon with her friends.
Make time for romance and intimacy. You have to make time to be intimate with each other. Cuddling, kissing and good sexual relationship are very important to keep the love and romance in your marriage. There are a lot of things that you both can do to make the marriage more exciting and prevent divorce from happening bring back the love and affection into your life and get your marriage back on track.
            When we first love our partner we see them through rose-colored glasses, but after a while the color does not seem so rosy, and we are let down by the one we love. Now, they did not mean to let us down, but being human, they make mistakes and it is easy to lose some respect for the love of our life as a result. I don’t say that this will happen, but that it may happy that way, and there are other reasons that we may lose respect for our spouse.
            Whatever the reason, this is something that every couple needs guard against, and they need to make a conscious effort to choose to be respectful of their partner.
As a couple you share personal intimate things with each other that a lot of the time you would never share with any other person. Generally, you would not do this if you did not think that your partner would keep your confidence. This is a position of great trust and is something that can bond you together very closely. It is also a potential weak spot and it is important that you can be assured that your partner is your greatest confidant. You can potentially destroy your marriage if you expose these private things about your lover or put them down in front of others, so it is important that you are good at confiding and keeping your trust secure.
            Every person needs to be loved, valued and appreciated, and this need does not diminish as we grow into adulthood. Your spouse especially needs confirmation that they are appreciated by you, for who they are and what they do. You may think you don’t need to tell them that you love them and that they already know that you appreciate them, but they still need to hear it from you on a regular basis.
Being taken for granted can be the biggest killer of relationships, not the things that people seem to think of, like affairs. Men, your wife would love you to hear that you appreciate her taking care of the children; she would love to hear that you value the little things she does, like making you breakfast every morning. I don’t mean that you’ve to tell her every time, but that you show her that you think about the contribution she makes to the home and how important she is in your life. Woman, you need to appreciate your husband as well.
Nothing kills a marriage faster than holding grudges and not forgiving the other when they hurt us for some reason. Unfortunately, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, and intentional or not, we always wind up hurting the ones we love, usually the ones closest to us. Because they are the closest to us, these hurts are usually much worse than those of strangers, and the tendency may be to want to fight about it or at very least be righteous and justified in our anger about it toward our partner.
Sometimes the last thing we want to do is forgive, and instead, we want restitution. But, the only way to move forward in a wholesome and healthy way protecting the marriage and the partnership is to forgive, and let it go.
It is important to resolve the issue and at least talk about it so that both parties have an understanding of what happened, why, and what needs to happen from now on. Sometimes, though, it is just a little slight, something that your partner had no idea of how you felt when they did or said what they did, and if it is a one-off, forgiving and letting it go is the best thing you can do, for yourself and your marriage.
When you hold things in and don’t forgive, your attitude toward your lover changes even if it’s so slightly, unperceptively, you lose a tiny bit of love. Whether they notice it or not, they change in their response to you as well. It is better to keep a clean slate by practicing forgiveness, as often as it is necessary.

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