Thursday, 19 January 2017

Why We Must Educate and Empower The Girl Child








“Teacher, welcome.”
“Good evening, ma’am. I hope Papa Amadi is at home?”
“Let me check. He was around a moment ago.”
“Pardon me, my husband. Barbara’s teacher is here. I have asked her to wait in the parlour while I check whether or not you are at home. Do you want to see her?”
“What does she want? She had never come to see me at home before. I’m coming to see her.”
“I very much appreciate your finding time to receive me, sir,” Brenda Gibson said.
“My pleasure. Please sit down.”
“Chioma, send Barbara to buy some soft drink for her teacher.”
“Don’t bother, sir. Thank you, anyway.”
“This is your first visit to my house. Our custom demands that I welcome you properly.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“To what do we owe this visit?”
“I have come to find out why you want to give Barbara out to marriage at this tender age instead of allowing her to complete her education?”
“I don’t believe in educating girls. It is a waste of money. Girls just need to be taught to cook, sew and care for children and their husbands; and they can learn those things right at home.”
Brenda Gibson was aghast. “The need to support and empower the girl child so that she can meet growing challenges of our time is very germane at this time. Education is universally acknowledged as the vehicle of development in any society. No nation is known to have developed without quantitative and qualitative education for her citizens irrespective of gender.”
“Education is for men not women. Women are here on earth for one reason only. To make men happy.”
“That’s not correct, sir. Education is meant for both sexes. A girl child should go to a proper school where she will acquire knowledge. Gender does not determine one’s ability to achieve. A child has a right to education whether a boy or a girl.”
“Then after educating her she will marry into another family and change her name. What will be my benefit? I’d better train my male children who will perpetuate the name of my family after I am gone.”
“Barbara is the brightest child we’ve ever had in the school, where there are many boys. She is the kind of child every teacher dreams of having just once throughout her career. Nowadays, there are many countries ruled by women: President of Philippines is Gloria Arroyo, German Chancellor is Angela Merkel, New Zealand Prime Minister is Helen Clark, Julian Gillard is the Prime Minister of Australia, Park Geun-hye is the President of South Korea and even in Africa, the President of Liberia is Ellen Johnson Sirleaf and Joyce Banda is the President of Malawi. So training your girl child is not a wasteful venture.”
“It’s too late. I’ve given Barbara’s hand in marriage to Igwe. And the marriage date has been fixed.”
“Do you think that’s the best course of action?”
“I don’t believe there is a better one. She has to get married before she is defiled or maybe infected with sexually transmitted disease (STD), and the worse being AIDS.”
“From the medical point of view, the girl child deserves education because the girl is the mother of a nation and it reduces the incidence of maternal mortality because if the girl is educated, she will be able to take care of herself and will be aware of the best way to bring up her child. There are high-risk pregnancies associated with teenage pregnancies which often led to maternal mortality.”
“Forget about all that big English. People have been marrying minors and they have been delivering children without what you call maternal mortality. So say something else.”
“One of the goals of the Millennium Development Goals is gender equality and empowerment of women. Marriage between man and woman should be an equal partnership. How can that be possible between a fourteen year old girl and forty four year old man?”
“God possesses ultimate power in the universe, before which everyone bows down; the equivalent power in the home is the man. He can never be in any equal partnership with any woman. Even if she is a President.”
***
“How far have you gone with persuading your daughter to marry me?” His Royal Highness, Chief Ike Ochendo asked Amadi Jones.
“Persuade? I’ve given her a good hiding she won’t forget soon and she has agreed to marry you. You know how it is with children of nowadays. They don’t know how to behave.”
“Very well. I only want the relationship between us to be tighter. Take this envelope and use what is inside to enjoy yourself. I shall send another before the marriage ceremony through one of my palace servants.”
“All these money for me?”
“That is small. There are more from where this one comes from. Just ensure that your daughter marries me and you’re through with poverty.”
“Consider it done.”
***
“Something needs to be done to arrest child marriage in our society,” Barbara complained to her teacher the following day she arrived to the school.
“Education is the most important key to helping end the practice of child marriage and forced marriage,” Brenda Gibson her teacher emphasized.
“You mean there is difference between child marriage and forced marriage?”
“Child marriage refers to any marriage of a child younger than 18 years old, in accordance to article 1 of the convention on the Rights of a Child. While forced marriage is defined as a marriage conducted without the valid consent of one or both parties and is a marriage in which duress –whether physical or emotional is a factor,” Brenda Gibson explained.
“Are boys also subjected to early marriage?”
“Yes. While child marriages affect both sexes, girls are disproportionately affected as they are the majority of the victims. Their overall development is compromised, leaving them socially isolated with little education, skills and opportunities for employment and self-realization.”
“Child marriage is unfair treatment by our parents.”
“You’re right. Child marriage is now widely recognized as a violation of children’s rights, a direct form of discrimination against the girl child who as a result of the practice is often deprived of her basic rights to health, education, development and equality. Tradition, religion and poverty continue to fuel the practice of child marriage, despite its strong association with adverse reproductive health outcomes and the lack of education of girls.”
“Government should ban child marriage. Imagine forcing me to marry a man that is thirty years older than me.”
“Many believe that education may prove to be more successful in preventing child marriage than banning child marriage. The education of the parents is just as important as education of the children. Education will broaden their horizons and will help convince them of the benefits in having their children educated. Girl child’s education is the key to end poverty.”

Wednesday, 18 January 2017

12 Sex Drive Killers + What To Do About Each




Millions of people are struggling with little or no sex drive, and we all need to start the conversation about it. Seeing thousands of patients, people rarely mention libido as an issue they would like to address—until you ask them personal questions—and then the naked truth is revealed: women who dread having sex with their partner and would rather sleep, men who can't get an erection, going months or years without having a healthy intimate relationship with his spouse.
It amazes me how many people settle for health problems like a low libido because they think it's normal or they are just getting older. Just because something is common doesn't make it normal. My job as a functional medicine practitioner is to get to the root cause of health problems like a low sex drive. So instead of just taking another pill, why don't we actually find out why you have the problem in the first place? Novel idea, I know.
Here are some of the common reasons for a low sex drive that I see in my medical practice:

1. Low iron

Iron is needed to get oxygen to your cells. If your levels are low, I find that one of the symptoms can be low sex drive. I suggest having your iron and ferritin levels tested to see where you add up.
What to do: If your levels are low, you have to find out the cause. I suggest first working with your doctor to rule out any internal bleeds. Once that is cleared, eating iron-rich foods like grass-fed liver or beef as well as green leafy vegetables and beets is a great way to start restoring your iron stores.

2. Adrenal fatigue

Adrenal fatigue happens when your brain is not speaking very clearly to your adrenals. The brain-adrenal-axis problems cause cortisol levels to be either too high or too low, and this can leave you feeling exhausted and more interested in eating junk food than having sex.
What to do: Having struggled with adrenal fatigue myself in the past, I know firsthand the most effective tools. A comprehensive approach that includes stress and sleep management, adaptogenic herbs, and healing foods are some my top tools to rehab from adrenal fatigue.

3. Sluggish thyroid

Every cell of your body needs your thyroid hormones to function optimally. If your thyroid hormones are sluggish, it's likely your sex drive will also be low.
What to do: I suggest getting comprehensive thyroid testing because there are many underlying thyroid problems that don't show up on basic thyroid labs. Depending on your results, here is my list of different strategies to support optimal thyroid health.

4. Gut problems

Your gastrointestinal system is known in the medical literature as your "second brain," and gut-brain connection problems like leaky gut syndrome can affect your brain-hormone connection—leaving you with no sex drive and fatigue.
What to do: Clean up your diet to heal your gut and find out what your body loves and hates with an elimination diet. I also like using specific food medicines like bone broth and celery juice to aid in gut health.

5. Sex hormone imbalance

Hormones, like anything else in the body, are subject to the "goldilocks principle": not too high, not too low, but just right. When your estrogen, progesterone, or testosterone levels are unbalanced it can leave you feeling totally uninterested in sex.
What to do: Start by having a comprehensive sex hormone panel done. I run both blood and saliva hormone testing to get a full perspective. Shilajit and mucuna pruriens are two herbs I use in my Sex Hormone Boosting Elixir.

6. Insulin resistance

High insulin levels can lead to low sex drive and infertility. And insulin conditions like metabolic syndrome and PCOS can also cause facial hair growth in woman, balding, and acne. 
What to do: Run fasting glucose and Hgb A1c levels to see if you are insulin resistant. Nutrients like chromium, NAC, and bitter melon are three insulin sensitizers that I also suggest for my patients.

7. Medications

One issue that is often overlooked when it comes to a low libido is medication. Common pharmaceuticals like antidepressants, blood pressure medications, painkillers, and antihistamines can cause low sex drive and erectile dysfunction.
What to do: Talk with your doctor about any alternatives you may have. Also consider a functional medicine approach that focuses on getting healthy so your doctor can reduce and eliminate medications where possible.

8. Stress

You can eat uber healthy, throwing back kale smoothies and kombucha all day long, but if you are filling your mind up with stress, it can still zap your sex drive.
What to do: Mindfulness meditation, yoga, and tai chi are some of my favorite stress-reducing tools.

9. Leptin resistance

This lesser known hormonal problem occurs when your hypothalamic brain cells aren't communicating with leptin, a hormone released from fat cells. Leptin resistance has been shown to lower testosterone levels, which decreases libido in both men and women.
What to do: If your leptin and CRP inflammation levels are high, I suggest entirely avoiding simple starches, refined sugars, grains, and fructose.

10. Low growth hormone

Studies show that high insulin reduces your body's ability to make growth hormone, which lowers sex drive by altering testosterone levels. You can start to see how your hormones are all connected! In functional medicine we refer to this to as upstream and downstream problems.
What to do: The appropriately named horny goat weed and Ginkgo biloba are two herbs that are commonly used to support healthy GH levels. 

11. Nutrient deficiencies

Low levels of nutrients such as zinc and vitamin D can wreck your sex life.
What to do: Get your levels tested and supplement accordingly, preferably working with a qualified doctor.

12. Insufficient healthy fats

Healthy fats like coconut oil, avocados, ghee, and olive oil are needed to make healthy hormones and brain function. One study
found that people who ate a low-fat diet had significantly lower testosterone levels.
What to do: Eat healthy fats! Start off slow to wake up your gallbladder, allowing yourself time to find out exactly which fats your body feels the best on. Read my article on the subject for a full guide on healthy fats.

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Love Versus Lust: Here's What You Need To Know




In a general way, most people think of love as living in the heart. And why not, when being with a person you love causes your heart to beat faster, and breaking up with a person you love makes your chest hurt? Science, however, tells us that love lives not in the heart but in the brain. And when I say brain, I do, in fact, mean the blood-and-guts organ between our ears. In fact, thanks to functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) techniques, we even know where in the brain this wonderful emotion resides.
One neurobiological study of people who said they were "intensely in love" compared test subjects' brain activity as they viewed photos of their beloved interspersed with photos of familiar but not beloved individuals, to see how the brain reacts to love versus a neutral stimulus. Later, other scholars replicated that study, but they did so with pornographic imagery tossed into the mix. This research was done in an attempt to separate physical attraction (sexual arousal) from romantic connection (love). Taken together, these studies give three primary findings:
1. Sexual attraction/arousal consistently activates the dopamine-rich nucleus accumbens, which is sometimes referred to as the brain's "pleasure center."
2. Intense feelings of love also consistently activate the nucleus accumbens, creating a sensation of pleasure.
3. In addition to the brain's pleasure center, intense feelings of love activate regions of the brain that "give value" to life-sustaining activities (to make sure we continue to engage in them). Sexual attraction/arousal without love does not activate these other parts of the brain.
This means that our brains view love not only as pleasurable but also as a life-sustaining necessity, while sexual arousal merely gives us pleasure. As such, people who are strongly in love feel a powerful desire to be with their beloved because it gives them pleasure and because their brains are actually telling them this is part of the human survival process. This is also why we can feel real, physical pain after a breakup with someone we truly love. Basically, the "value" parts of our brain cause our bodies to react to the loss of love in a way that reminds us how important it is.
So, how can we accurately define love? Perhaps we could state that love is a pleasurable feeling that our brain values more than most other pleasurable feelings. For instance, eating a chocolate ganache gives us pleasure, but our chests don't ache when the treat is gone because our brain doesn't place the same value on chocolate as on love. So perhaps the 1970s rock band Sweet got it right when they sang, "Love is like oxygen." As with oxygen, without love we ultimately can't survive.
The article is byRob Weiss Culled from Mindbodygreen.

The Subtle Sign That You're Actually NOT Ready For A Committed Relationship



Are you in denial about whether or not you are available for a committed relationship?
I received the following question from Natalia:
"Why am I not letting go of this amazing man who is married and does not plan on leaving his wife? He has told me he is in love with me, and we are both sad that this is how life has to be. He has many of the characteristics I want in a partner. He's a strong leader, tender, attentive, and loving. I know how he feels because he speaks his mind. How do I move on?"
I see a couple of major ways that Natalia is in denial:

1. If she were available for a relationship, she wouldn't have become involved with a man who is obviously unavailable.

If you have a fear of commitment, then relationships with unavailable people are safe because there is no chance of commitment. If Natalia were really available for a committed relationship, she would seek a partner who is available.

2. Natalia is seeing this "amazing man" through rose-colored glasses.

She claims that he is strong, tender, attentive, and loving and that he speaks his mind. What she is not facing is that he is also dishonest. He is, after all, cheating on his wife. If he'd cheat on his wife while they were in a committed relationship, there's no reason for Natalia to think it would be any different if he was in a relationship with her.
Is he really speaking his mind? Is he speaking his mind to his wife so that they can work out the problems in their relationship rather than him cheating on her? Is he really speaking his mind to Natalia when he says he loves her? When you love someone, you support their highest good, and he isn't supporting Natalia's highest good by being involved with her.
Words are easy. It's easy for this man to say he loves Natalia and to be tender, attentive, and loving in an affair. Narcissists are often absolutely wonderful in affairs, but obviously, if he were a man of integrity, he wouldn't be having an affair.
If Natalia does her inner work and learns to love herself, then she will have a much easier time letting go of this married man. When she loves herself, she will want to be with an honest man, a trustworthy man of integrity—not a man who cheats on his wife. She will realize that it is very unloving to herself to be involved with this man.
If Natalia learns to love herself, then her underlying fears of rejection and of engulfment can be healed. When she develops a loving adult self who is capable of not taking rejection personally and capable of not losing herself in a relationship, then she will be available for a committed relationship with an available man. As long as she is with an unavailable man, she doesn't have to worry about losing herself in a relationship—which is likely the fear that is keeping her from being available.
If you find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable people, people who are married, or people in committed relationships, then I suggest you explore your own fears of being in a committed relationship. It's likely that your fears of rejection and/or engulfment are keeping you from being available. The good news is that you can heal your fears by learning to love yourself.
The article is b y Margaret Paul culled from Mindbodygreen.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

How To Tell If Someone Loves You (Even If They Don't Say It)



I received the below question from someone recently, and it reminded me how difficult it can be to distinguish the things that truly matter in a relationship from the things that we have been told "should" matter.
Question: I've been dating Josh for about three months. He's a great guy, good-looking, smart, and most importantly, he treats me with respect. However, I've had a tough dating and relationship history. I was engaged to a guy who never followed through with his promises and broke off the engagement. I was married to a man who cheated. As you can imagine, trust has been difficult for me.
I've been working on myself, and I now love and respect myself so much more. Because of that, I've been able to slowly develop this wonderful relationship. I don't want things to go wrong.
Here's the problem: Josh has never said, "I love you." I feel that he really cares, but I'd feel so much better if I heard those words. Am I being silly or insecure? Or should I be concerned if he doesn't say those three magic words?
Here's what I told her. I hope it helps you, too.
Josh sounds like he's a good partner for you. He respects and cherishes you, which is fundamental to a lasting relationship. He honors and values you because you've learned to love yourself and to stop tolerating liars and cheaters.
It sounds like this is a much healthier relationship than you've ever experienced. Let's celebrate that!
You ask about those three little words; when is the right time to say, "I love you"? It sounds like you're ready to profess your love, and he might not be there yet. Here's how to know where you stand.

Watch his actions, not his words.

If he's showing you that he cares for you, that's what matters most. As you probably know, words are not as important as follow-through and consistency.
I would be more concerned if he said "I love you" after only four dates, and his actions didn't match up. How do you know if his actions mean that he loves you? I have created an assessment to help you figure out if someone loves you, whether they've said it or not:
  • Is this person calling and texting consistently?
  • Do you get together on a regular basis?
  • Is the relationship escalating and growing?
  • Do you feel valued and cherished by this person?
  • Do you feel safe with them (emotionally and physically)?
  • Are they considerate, kind, and thoughtful?
  • Do you feel good about the relationship when you're with them AND when you're not?
  • Is this person open to talking things out when you disagree?
If you can answer "yes" to all of the questions above, that person cares deeply about you and prioritizes you in their life.
It's helpful to know that people express their love in many different ways, and it's not always in the way that we expect. In the wonderful book, The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman lists the five ways of expressing love as follows:
  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Giving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch
I suggest you take the love languages assessment to find out what your preferred language of expression is. I highly recommend that you ask Josh to do the same so you can learn his love language too.
Understanding the way you each express love is one of the keys to accepting and embracing your partner. It can lessen the anxiety you feel when you aren't getting what you need in a relationship.

So, is it really important to hear the words "I love you"?

I believe those three words are highly overrated. They can be meaningful if they're said in the right context and with sincerity. But they can mean different things to different people. To one partner, "I love you" means "I think you might be the ONE I've been searching for my whole life." To the other, "I love you" means "I like you a lot, and I want to sleep with you."
There are many other ways to express your love. So, remember to watch what he does more than what he says. Understand each other's love languages. And once you've done that, you'll be able to take a deep breath and stop worrying so much about whether or not someone says I love you. Do you feel loved? That's all that matters.

Monday, 9 January 2017

5 Foolproof Ways To Breathe New Life Into Your Relationship


Tired of carrying over your old resolutions to the new year? Start 2017 in a new way. Rip up that "me-oriented" list and adopt some resolutions that help you better your relationship with your partner in the new year.

1. Do more thoughtful things for your partner.

After a couple has been together for a while, the familiarity and comfort can engender less thoughtful behavior. Put consideration and attentiveness back into your relationship. Identify meaningful or helpful ways that you can support your partner and make them feel that you've got their back.

2. Do more nurturing and sensual things for your partner.

A couple's tendency to do nurturing things for each other can often fall by the wayside. Everyone arrives home exhausted and too drained to give of themselves. Touch (massages, caressing, tenderness) rarely happens outside of foreplay. Surprise your partner with a foot massage, hand massage, a head or back rub, or set up a warm bath with candles and music for them. Create a pleasurable experience where they can decompress and rejuvenate.

3. Do more loving things.

Demonstrating your affection for your partner is often something that falls away when couples become settled and secure. Add some romance to your life. Send flowers, write a love letter, share a glass of wine by the fire or sit outside and watch the sunset. Periodically let your partner know that you were thinking of and are appreciative of them in whatever way calls to them best.

4. Be more emotionally present.

It may have been a long time since you were 100 percent present when having a conversation with your partner. You look at your phone, check out, and even rush conversations along so you can get to the next thing. Take the time to be attentive to and present with your partner during a discussion. This type of connection creates a deep sense of feeling loved, accepted, and understood for your partner.

5. Show more gratitude.

It always feels good to be appreciated and acknowledged. Take the time to notice and comment on the big things as well as the little things they do for you. Praise them for their efforts and thoughtfulness. In addition to making your partner feel great, showing gratitude is also a positive reinforcer and will encourage more of this behavior.
Rolling into the new year, not only will you have a happy partner, but you will also create a renewed sense of connection between the two of you. By integrating these resolutions into your life, you are bound to get them back in spades.
The article is by Rhonda Milrad culled from Mindbodygreen.

Sunday, 8 January 2017

20 Things Every Woman Tries to Hide From Her Man




The core of every healthy relationship is respect, passion, and honesty, but despite her best attempts at complete openness, there are certain things a woman refuses to reveal to her man. If you think that you know your girl completely, then you’re gravely mistaken. A woman, no matter how much she loves you and lives with you, she still has a lot of secrets that you probably will never come to know. Here are 20 such secrets:
1. Her sexual fantasies
Both men and women have their sexual fantasies but she can’t to be completely open about her sexual fantasies because of fear of ridicule from you. She is mostly scared to talk about her desires in case you might find her weird and condemn her. Even though these fantasies could improve your physical intimacy and potentially improve your relationships as a result, she’ll keep them to herself except when encouraged. It takes a very secure woman to tell a man what she wants in the bedroom. Confident women realize that by sharing these sexual fantasies they will improve their relationship.
2. Her insecurities
She will pretend to be confident and will never tell you about how insecure she can feel at times and how ridiculous it can be. She will always tell you that she is on top of the world but she could be feeling deeply insecure that might even trigger her to be depressed. Rather than express her fear of failure she’ll cover it up with self-confidence and pride because she does not want to seem weak and fragile.
3. Secret of her flawless looks
A woman likes to maintain the façade that she is flawless feminine being but keep it a secret how she achieves that. What you see isn’t always the real thing; a woman spends a lot of time and money to ensure that. She wants you to keep wondering where the prettiness comes from that is why the makeups are applied without the men watching. While you may be smart enough to know it's the make-up on her skin, your woman might prefer to hide her anti-ageing cream, her under-eye make-up or her pimple solutions.
4. How much she stalk you on social media
In the contemporary world, social media makes stalking all too easy. Most girls stalk guys on Facebook, Instagram, etc before actually dating him. She tries to know what kind of person you are from your Facebook timeline and posts. She might tell you that she doesn’t care about your past women but she uses Facebook as the ideal social media platform to check up on her exes. It is for these most obvious reasons that she hides this from you. She will continue to creep and stalk most exes and lie about doing so, so as to spare your sensitive ego and getting you jealous.
5. How many guys she dated before you
While you may feel that your girl has divulged her most intimate experiences with you, she might be hiding the real number of her exes. Most women often think that their guy will not understand the reason and will think they are some kind of an excessively bold woman. They are afraid of being judged for their character, while others felt that sharing this information would make you feel insecure and jealous. She will tell you but not all of it. This is something really personal thing; some girls have many reasons to be with someone or leave them and be with someone else.
6. Pleasuring herself
Women do pleasure themselves. You might think that the only time your partner pleasures herself is when you are out of town or at the very least not at home, but not necessarily. She doesn’t need an empty house to get the job done; chances are pretty high that she has actually done while you slept beside her. You either didn’t get her satisfied or weren’t getting her subtle cues on how to get satisfied.
7. How much she earns
Most men don’t care how much their women warn but women hide it anyway. No matter how low or high she earns she wants to keep that to herself. This is worse with some women who earn as much as the man or even more but still want the man to pay all the bills. In some cases when the woman earns more than you she hides it for your pride and self-respect so that you don’t feel bad and if it is too low then it’s about her own self-respect and dignity. This one is tricky because even highly successful women could make the man seem inferior and this can be detrimental to relationships.
8. Peeing in the shower
Most women try to pee standing up, hence, a lot of women pee in the shower since it’s the only time they can pee standing up. She’s not going to do it when she is in the shower with you, but nonetheless, she’ll do it when she shower alone and don’t feel a bit guilty or gross for doing so.
9. How much she told her best friend
She likes to keep many things intimate between you two but her best friend her best friend knows more than you think. It is common knowledge that women almost always spill your little secrets to their friends. This is even truer at the beginning of relationships when she is closer to her girlfriends than you. If she had known from the beginning that your relationship was going to last she probably would’ve been more discrete.
10. If she wants to fart
Women are supposed to be beautiful creatures that wouldn’t dare fart without getting ridiculed but guys can do it anytime and she’ll just plug her nose and laugh. But no matter how much she hides, sometimes she needs to pass out gas or blow her nose. She’ll try most times to hide these bodily functions from you, but honestly, it would have been much easier if she didn’t have to do this. So please allow your women to pass gas without being ridiculed, it is complete torture to hold everything inside.
11. How much she is attracted to you
In order to keep the ego in check, no matter how much she is attracted to you, she will not tell it so openly but will keep proving it through her actions. She might let you take a guess now and then but she will never admit it openly and if something slips out unexpectedly she will feel embarrassed. Another reason for hiding her deepest feelings are that some guys take it the wrong way and start treating their girls like doormats so she feels she is giving herself a respect and dignity when she does this. Women will tell you that they love you and mean it with all of their heart but what they leave out is how deep that love goes and how much they can’t imagine their lives without you.
12. How hairy she is
Women have hair on their legs, arms and countless other places, but they go to great lengths to maintain the façade that they are naturally hairless and smooth skinned. You find her beautiful, pampered and non-hairy every time you go out on a date but cannot imagine how much she spends on wax just to get rid of every hair everywhere so that you find her spotless and smooth every time. She will not even let you see her eyebrow hair fully growth in case you start thinking she is masculine. It’s not fun, but she has to do it because she finds it extremely embarrassing if you see unshaven hair accidentally.
13. How much she thinks about the future
Even at the beginning of the relationship, women start to think about how their future would be with her current man. What kind of house would you live in? What many kids you’ll have? And the longer you make her wait before you propose, the more anxiety accumulates but she will never mention it to you. And if all her girlfriends get married before her then the more anxious she becomes but for obvious reasons she will never reveal just how frequently she thinks about it and how desperately she yearns for it to happen.. She may tell you subtly if she thinks you should get married but will not pressurize you because she is too dignified to force you to marry her.
14. How much she’s hurt
You might not know how some things that you say or do hurt her because most men simply don’t know how it feels to be truly heartbroken and may never understand how far the wound goes. She does not show it because she loves you so much but she does suffer in silence. This makes it pretty hard to understand how deeply a woman has been wounded by a breakup or destructive argument; especially after a break up. Some women spend months trying to get back on their feet real soon but you cannot figure out how hurt she was and how many nights she’d spent crying just because she tries to hide it from you. A woman’s hurt may dissipate with time, but she never forgets the feeling of true heartbreak and most time, she’ll never try to explain it to any man.
15. How often she checks up on her exes
Often than not, after breaking up, she still checks up on her exes through social media or mutual friends, but she will never tell you that because guys tend to take it the wrong way and become jealous. It definitely does not mean that she is interested in anything that is going on their life but a little curiosity. Most women hide their true feelings about the ex to save their current man from getting hurt or jealous or doubt her because she does not have any bad intention and the explanations that follow might end up in a big fight that could jeopardize the relationship.
16. Number of men she has slept with
No woman freely divulges how many men she has slept with. Even when you her how many men she has slept with, chances are she is probably going to lie because she wants to remain angelic and innocent in your eyes. Sometimes she doesn’t even mean to lie, it just slips out in the moment and then she has to continue the lie for years to come in order to maintain your trust. However, the most important thing is that you’re her current beloved, so in a way others are irrelevant.
17. How badly she wants you back in case you’ve broken up
She would never tell you how badly she wants you back because of her self-respect and dignity. She will keep a track of all most of your activities since you have been apart. She will not forget your birthday, your favorite food, your dislike for anything particular, the way you look when you smile, your fragrance and your touch or anything that you two did together. But no matter how much she will crave for you, you will never expose her craving for you.
18. How much she wants to check your phone
Most women respect their men’s privacy and want them to have their space because they expect the same from them but still sometimes the urge to snoop into their partner’s phone is overwhelming. Some definitely want to spy on you and does not trust you, but sometimes they do it out of curiosity which makes them to act unwisely. This has caused a lot of problems between couples.
19. How desperately she wants to look better than every girl you have dated
The competition between women is way too strong than you can even imagine. Your current woman will research and knows it on her fingertips how each of your ex looks like and she’ll want to look better than them in order to retain you. They want you to have the best experience of your life and do not want you to ever think of returning to any of your ex because she had better features.
20. The secrets of her best friend
Women treasure the privacy of their best friend and even if she loves you a lot and shares most of her details with you, she will try to keep her best friend’s secret away from you. This is because telling something secret about her best friend would feel like she is a betrayer.