One of the most important
qualities a woman can have is confidence. Most women have limited
self-confidence and others have no self-confidence at all. They dwell on their
own weaknesses and limitations, and they eventually settle for far less than
what they are really worth. Being self-confident is a prerequisite for healthy
relationships. Poor self-confidence is the number one cause of failure in relationships.
If you don’t have self-confidence, you will be willing to bend backward because
you will not believe you are worthy of love. This will create the impression
that you are desperate and he’d want to see how far you’d be willing to bend. Confident
women approach relationships differently. Their ability to see their self-worth
and know they’re something great gives them the ability to handle romantic
situations, in ways that women who lack confidence just can’t. They’re not arrogant.
Confident women are strong and independent. They seem resilient against
adversity in their lives and turn each stumbling block into a stepping stone to
self-fulfillment and happiness. Here are twenty-four ways confident women do
relationships differently.
Confident women don’t guess if he likes them
Women with high self-confidence
believe they are worthy of love and don’t question how someone feels about
them. Confident women never try too hard to make an impression. They don’t coax
affection out of men. Insecure women try to over-compensate and as a result are
seen to be desperate and this lessen a man’s respect. But confident women know
that they are good, competent, and lovable and trust that the right person for
them will see their outstanding virtues. They don’t attach their worth to what
a guy thinks and, as a result, don’t feel stressed and anxious when a man’s
feelings are not platonic. The minute a man feels you’re trying too hard to
have a relationship, he starts taking you for granted.
Confident women define their goals
They set high goals focusing on what they
excel in, more than dwelling on their weaknesses. But insecure women dwell on
their weaknesses and their inabilities; depending on others to set gosla for
them. A confident woman's goals are
defined by her, not anyone else. They acknowledge that they have imperfections,
but realize this is part of being human and accept every mistake as a personal
learning experience. When you applaud your fears, neuroses, and quirks, these
qualities become your assets. She can do whatever she wants to do. Nothing can
hold her back. Embrace your goods and teach others to embrace theirs. Ashamed
of your intelligence? Intelligence is not necessarily IQ grades, or years of
schooling or degrees acquired. Brian Tracy wrote, “If you act intelligently,
you are intelligent.” And when further to explain that, “An intelligent way of
acting is acting in a manner that is consistent with the achievement of your
self-professed goals.” Forget the degrees and do what makes you feel like a
genius, and you’ll be unstoppable.
Confident
women don’t feel guilty if a relationship falls apart
They believe that for every woman
there is a man and that not everyone is a match and sometimes, two people are
just incompatible. Confident women don’t
take it personally when a relationship fails. They realize that it must not be
the right match and they move on, with their sense of self firmly intact. When
a girl is insecure, however, and a guy leaves, she becomes discouraged and
feels that she was unworthy of love. She may obsess, analyze, and replay every
interaction in an attempt to uncover what she did wrong. She holds on to the
destructive belief that she was the problem and that she is unlovable that is
why the relationship failed.
They don't sit around over-analyzing things
Many women are guilty of
over-analyzing. Women who are lacking in confidence can wind up in self-created
drama, reading wrong meaning to whatever happens. Confident women's lack of
self-doubt helps keep them from getting into any analytical game.
They are independent
There is one aspect of holding
your own in a relationship that cannot be overlooked: money. Most
self-confident women are financially independent. You don’t have to be rich,
you just have to maintain the ability to take care of yourself. Confident women
will usually maintain their independence and contribute to the relationship in
some way because their pride won’t allow them to be perceived as burden on
someone else. They place their dignity above all else, even if they are dating
a very successful man. In a relationship
of any kind, if a man feels the woman isn’t bringing anything to the table, he
will begin to disrespect the woman. Sherry Argov wrote, “The ability to take
care of yourself ensures that all of the following will remain intact: the
mental challenge, the respect, the longevity of the relationship and the sexual
desire.”
Confident women don’t take anything too personally
Women who have confidence always
see the brighter side of life and refuse to wallow in their own pity, because
they know it will only harm them in the end. Confident women are also aware
that they cannot control other people’s emotions, but can only control their
reaction to them. But when insecure women hear criticism, they take it personally.
They don't take it personally, but they don't put up with any disrespect
either. For too long, women have had to live in a world where they shrug off
whatever disgusting treatment that is hurled at them.
Confident women set boundaries
Sensible personal boundaries and
high self-confidence go hand in hand. Having strong boundaries means you
prioritize your needs and your emotions and do not assume responsibility for
someone else’s needs and emotions. Confident women know what they will and will
not accept and don’t allow themselves to be pressured or pushed into doing
things they don’t want to do, while insecure women do the opposite. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you
feel inferior without your consent.” They act in accordance with who they are
and never do things solely to keep him interested and happy. Insecure women
have weak boundaries, and may become doormat in a relationship by putting up
with treatment that they know is objectively unacceptable.
Confident women admit their weaknesses
No one is perfect. Confident
women have their weaknesses as well. Weaknesses are an inevitable and
unavoidable fact of life. But the difference is that while other women have the
tendency to focus on their weaknesses, confident women focus on their
strengths. Self-confident women not only admit their imperfections, they
applaud them. They know where their strengths lie, where they can improve and
when to step aside and let others take the lead. They know that trying to be
perfect at everything is impossible so they dwell continually on their areas of
potential excellence.
Confident
women are capable of making decisions
Confident women trust themselves to
make the right choices while also realizing they are well equipped to cope
should things go awry. Confident women can be soft and very feminine, but they
still have quiet dignity. They let people know in graceful way that they won’t
easily be manipulated. They act on how
they feel and are comfortable being their true, authentic selves. Insecure
women don’t trust their judgment, don’t trust their gut instincts, and are
afraid of being wrong. As a result, they either live their lives in a constant
state of anxiety, or they look to others to guide them along the right path.
Men are instantly drawn to this person by their self-assurance and positive
outlook on themselves.
Confident women don’t show arrogance
Being a confident woman isn’t
about exuding a certain kind of arrogance. Confident women don’t need to tell
the world how great they are. They don’t need to tell people about it, they
already know. Only insecure people secretly feel that they are unworthy and
feel the need to hide this by bragging about their achievements or talking
about themselves. The confident women don’t discuss deep issues in the
beginning. They don’t talk about their achievements early in the relationship
because they don’t need to sell themselves; rather, they use dating as a means
to determine which guys are worthy of their time and affection. They reveal
themselves gradually, carefully peeling back the layers over time, making them more
attractive than insecure women who lay it all out there.
Confident women accept
responsibility
They accept total responsibility
for their situations, with no excuses and no blaming of others. They take
responsibility for their choices, whether good and bad, and use their mistakes
as opportunities to grow and become even better. To them accepting
responsibility is not an option but mandatory. They don’t indulge in the luxury
of blaming others or making excuses for parts of their lives that are not
satisfactory as insecure women would do. If they disagree with their partners they
accept responsibility for their actions and emotions. They don’t blame or shame
their partners if they feel unhappy and don’t blame men for being jerks and
they don’t view themselves as the victims of other people and circumstances.
Confident women accept relationships the way it is
Confident women feel secure in
their relationships. They don’t need to be given a ring before they believe
that the man cares. They are able to just be present in the relationship and
let it unfolds without force or pressure. This is not to say they stay with
guys who won’t commit. If a guy can’t commit in the way they want, then they’ll
move on. Married, single, or divorced, they feel good about themselves. They
are able to give and receive freely in their relationships and as a result, they
don’t stress out about marital status.
Confident women waste time in
bad relationships
Poor self-worth is what traps
insecure women in bad relationships, and that is what cause them to feel so
devastated and broken when a relationship ends. Confident people do not stay in
relationships where they don’t feel respected, appreciated, and valued. They
don’t wait around in dead-end relationships, hoping something will magically
change. Only insecure people put up with treatment that is unacceptable, in
large part because they feel that that’s what they deserve on some level.
Confident women don’t seek reassurance
Do you constantly want more
attention or reassurance? Women with high self-confidence know they are loved
and lovable. As a result, they don’t need their partners to remind them every
day – it’s just something they feel and know. Sherry Argov, the author of Why
Men Love Bitches wrote, “A man loses respect for a woman who needs his
approval, particularly when she will overcompensate to get it.” If you don’t
truly believe you are worthy of love, you will never believe someone else can
love you. As long as you stay in control of who you are your partner will
respect you. But not when you are
insecure, and need constant validation and you lash out and become resentful if
your partner doesn’t give it to you, he retreats because he feels pressured.
When a man thinks about a woman who has control over herself, he automatically
thinks about her preferences and about ways to please her. Then you may work
harder to try to please him and earn his love, or you may withhold your love
and affection to even the score. You
view his retreat as a sign he doesn’t love you and fall into despair. He
resents that nothing he does is good enough and the fact that you don’t trust
his efforts and stops trying; you see this as further proof he doesn’t care,
consequently, either the relationship ends or continues to make you both
miserable indefinitely. A confident woman doesn’t obsess over her partner’s
reassurance.
Confident women choose wisely
The ability to make their own
choices in life is the confident women’s most important tool. Confident people
use their head and heart when choosing a romantic partner. They are able to
quickly assess if someone is emotionally healthy and can give them what they
need in a relationship. A core concept to understand when it comes to
relationships is like attracts like. They don’t let their ego get too
intertwined with their emotions and they make sure they are fundamentally
compatible with someone before they get too involved. An insecure person will
unconsciously seek out relationships with men who will make them feel more
insecure. They will want the unavailable guys, the guys who can’t commit, the
guys who have walls up. These are the ones they will feel infatuated by, not
the ones who show real, genuine interest. Oftentimes, this happens because on
an unconscious level, the insecure girl feels that if she can break through his
walls, or get him to change his ways, then she’ll really be worthy and
valuable. This never, ever works. Instead, she just ends up compromising her
integrity even further by chasing the relationship.
Confident women Have Better Sex
Sex is a major component in a
relationship, and confident women know that. What they also know is that
they’re hot. They are plenty sexy, which is precisely why they don’t throw it
out there casually. In feeling really comfortable in their skin and embracing
their body, confident women just naturally have better sex because they tell
their partners what they like. They’re more assertive. Some women fake orgasm
because they feel that in the bedroom they have to put up a riveting
performance but not the confident women. They don’t usually define themselves
by outside standards. They are more honest. They ask for what they want. If
their partners don’t do it right, they won’t encourage them by giving disingenuous
feedback, but will tell them the truth because she cares about her own
pleasure.
Confident women are not afraid to say no
Confident women aren’t afraid to say
"no" when something doesn’t suit them. Confident women don’t
overcommit and they don’t make false promises. What this means when it comes to
relationships is that confident women don’t settle, and have zero fear when it
comes to expressing their emotions. They’d rather state the truth and decline
rather than tell a white lie and then flake out later. And, they don’t have
time for everything. No one does. The difference is, burnout simply isn’t on a
confident woman’s agenda, so she makes sure to commit to things she’ll actually
enjoy instead of piling every little thing onto her calendar for the sake of
other people.
Confident
women never lose their identity
Women with healthy boundaries
will not lose themselves in a relationship, and will not allow their identities
to be entirely contingent upon how their partners see them. They will continue
to maintain their own lives outside of the relationship without giving up their
friends, hobbies, or alone time. Confident women don’t abandon parts of
themselves in order to have a relationship. They bring their fully formed self
into the relationship and if the guy wants something else, or something more,
they leave. They won’t abandon important parts of themselves or their lives for
the sake of the relationship and if a man wants something else or something
more than they’re willing to give, they’ll leave. This is because when a woman
is in love, it can be really easy to lose herself in it. Confident women don’t
fall into that category; they keep themselves as separate entities. For them,
never losing sight of who they are and what they want out of life and their
relationship is always paramount.
Confident women understand their emotions
No matter what the circumstance
is, confident women strive to understand their emotions and own up to them. She
won’t sugarcoat anything or use euphemisms. There’s no hide and seek happening
with their jealousy, they let it all out. They are forthright. They are direct
about their preferences and they let their partners know what their dos and
don’ts are with respect to how they want to be treated. When they notice
disrespect from their partners, they point it out without hesitation.
They enjoy solitude
Confident women have a little
quality time each day for themselves. Reveling in a few moments to themselves
during the day to relax and feel free of others’ obligations is a must. Richard
Templar wrote, “You need that time to regenerate, renew, and invigorate
yourself. You need that down time to recharge and repair. If you don’t, you
aren’t taking on fresh fuel, your engine will run down and so will you.” These
women cherish their friends and family, but also realize that it is important
to have their down time, where they can completely indulge themselves. This is
a little space for them, a breathier, and a time to sit still and do absolutely
nothing. Just breathe. They just sit there not thinking, not doing anything,
not worrying, just being, while appreciating the pleasure of being alive. It helps
to purge them of angst and worries.
Confident
women choose their lifestyle
Confidence women do not let the
media dictate their physical appearances or behaviors, because they know that
it is all misleading. These women are confident in their lifestyle choices,
whether they decide to get married and have a family or not. They are not afraid to define themselves and
defy public opinion. They have their own look. Their own style. Their own charisma.
Their own brand of charm.
Confident women listen
While confident women trust their
own judgment, they are also secure enough to listen to their partners. These
women know trying to accomplish everything alone is virtually impossible. Knowing
when to listen and when to act is an extremely useful skill to develop. They won’t necessarily like what they hear all
the time, but they don’t throw a tantrum when their partners express their
views. They believe criticism should be constructive, and that listening to
others’ opinions is a good way to get their problems resolved.
Confident women are not scared to
love
Regardless of how brutal or
shameful one’s romantic past may be, the confident women never miss the opportunity
to love again. Confident women don’t let their past hold them back. They know
they are worthy of a great relationship, strong enough to survive if it doesn’t
work out and to weather the crappy outcomes; while the insecure women will
remain heartbroken for a long time.
Confident apologize when they are wrong
They admit when you’re wrong. Not
only are confident women not afraid to admit that they’ve erred, but they’re
also not scared to apologize. Confident women welcome the chance to learn from
their mistakes, and that in turn makes for a stronger and healthier way of
dealing with conflict in their relationship. Confident women listen to their
guilt, figure out how to right their wrong and then they adjust.
