23 Reasons Why You Should Resist Becoming The Other Woman
A woman dating a married man is a robust phenomenon, and it is here to stay. No matter what side of the fence you’re on both can agree that this is a very controversial and moralistically sensitive topic. Falling in love with a married man can be one of the most confusing affairs that a woman can ever have. Do women go out with the intent to find themselves a married person to fall in love with? Of course not. How does it begin? Simply by the touch of a hand, an innocent conversation, a glance and before you know a relationship has blossomed. Attraction, destiny, soul mate connections, current life circumstances, physical attraction, discontent with current relationship, they are all ingredients in the recipe for an affair. Affair with married man can wreck you, give you a bad name and ruin your own life. And yet, most women can’t help but fall for them. Listed below are some reasons why a woman should not date a married man:
Don’t be a home wreckerFirstly, girls, when did you stop respecting yourselves? You inevitably are lower on his list of priorities but he still has to make an effort for your love. While the man might be giving you tons of attention, gifts and taking you out, it really isn't ever going to be a true relationship because he already has a family. You don't ever want to be called a home wrecker. Or do you?
Most men do not leave their wivesRealize, even though he might say he is going to leave his wife … he probably isn't. He probably wants to have his cake and eat it too, and unless you put an end to it, he isn't going anywhere. The truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you. If he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important. Why would he leave his #happy home if he has you on the side and willing to participate in his sexual adventure? He may stay married permanently. It does happen. Remember Katherine Hepburn.
Remember that he has a familyA married man who is involved with another woman, sexually, emotionally, or in any way not in accordance with their marriage vows. In relationships, there are different depths of desire, attraction, and love. This is why some relationships have a deeper bond and longevity. Marriage is considered the ultimate depth of love, and a proof that the couple is irrevocably, and unconditionally admirable of each other and will be with each other until the end of all time. Marriage is a sacred decree, in which two individuals declare, in accordance with Gods law, their commitment and love for each other. What if he has children? Cheating has a ripple effect and this, in turn, can really cause a lot of problems for not just him or you, but also his wife's trust in men altogether and finally his children. Do you want to put an entire family through all of that? It's hard, but ending it with a married man would be best.
Don’t be second bestBe honest with yourself. What you're doing is risky. You deserve a man who loves you. Own up to the risk. Why are you settling for just a married man in the first place? You are #beautiful, and so amazing, you need someone that is just dedicated to you and not someone that is dedicated to another woman at the same time. Wouldn't it be nice to have a man all your own? No matter what he says, he's still having sex with his wife. Don't let your relationship with him keep you from seeing other people. Very likely, he will not leave his wife for you.
Grieve your love just like any other breakI know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc. But that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all. When he has to resolve issues with his wife, kids, work or health, he will put you on pause. This will hurt if you're used to communicating on a daily basis, but that's why he likes you. He can come back with no consequences. You'll have to grieve your love and the relationship, just like any other breakup; it is going to be really hard, but you'll get through it.
People will judge, but breakupWell, most #people are going to judge you, but don't let that get to you. You need to end the relationship for you, not for anyone else. You need to respect yourself enough to find a man that is just yours. And everyone deserves to follow their own gut feeling – this includes the married man who wants you. It is normal and healthy to listen to the gut. End it with him and really go through the breakup process so you can find someone free. Being in love with a married man isn't going to get you anything but a lot of judgment and grief.
Cut off all communicationCut all communication off with him. This could mean even changing your number so he won't have access to you and blocking him on #everything. It's hard, but it is worth it.
Don’t trust himBeing in love is a tricky thing, even though he is married, you probably do have deep feelings for him. Even if he decides to leave his wife for you, there are going to be more than a few issues moving forward. The best remedy is to walk away from the married man and tell him to look you up after his divorce, but if you simply can't, don't limit yourself to being his woman on the side, continue to investigate other relationship options. If he cheated on her, then what makes you think that he wouldn't #cheat on you?
Remember his wife won’t be happy withAre you realistic in your expectations of how his current wife and any children he may have would react were your affair to be discovered? If you have an affair with a woman's husband, she's not going to be happy when she finds out. Don't expect her to be nonchalant about the situation. She'll probably spread some pretty nasty #things about you around town, and she might even get violent. It is highly likely to be very unpleasant.
Accept you are jealousWhat is it about a married man that makes women flip the lid and have an affair? It’s probably the fact that he’s already taken and that means he has to be good. Sometimes, women too, are afraid of commitment. They admire others who can hold on to happy relationships and they envy them. When you're attracted to a married man, you're going to get jealous over his wife. You are jealous that he loved her enough to make a 'lifelong' commitment to her. Try to make peace with your jealousy instead of acting on your feelings.
Think how you’d feel if you were his wifeEven if you believe a married man is the love of your life, before you try to get involved with him, put yourself in his wife's shoes. How would you feel if another woman snatched your husband? Wouldn't you be devastated? Don't help a #married man cause that kind of misery. Remember that he made a commitment to her.
You’ve to keep your relationship a secretIf you're dating a married man, you have to keep it a secret; is that really how you want your relationship to work? You should be proud to hold your man's hand in public and bring him home to meet the family. You will be unable to share details of your relationship with friends and family as you would in a normal relationship. You will never get to know his parents, his siblings, his children or his circle of friends unless he gets a divorce in the future. That part of his life will be compartmentalized away from you, where it is entirely possible that he is fully integrated into your life, creating a major imbalance. Don't settle for a relationship where you have unhealthy secrets to keep. This can begin to have an isolating effect on you.
He may not really a good manYou may think he's the kindest, gentlest man in the #world, but that can't be true if he's willing to cheat on his wife. It is a volatile and potentially painful situation you are in. You could very likely have your heart broken. Yes, he might treat you well now, but that could change in the future. You could potentially spend years in the shadows of his life loving him and hoping for change only to find, in the end, all of your love was in vain.
Know you’re just a mistressYou may know that a charming married man’s taken already, but if you find that he gives you a few second glances or a roguish smile, it would be pretty hard for you to overlook that. If a married man is pursuing you, chances are that physical intimacy is all that he's interested in. To safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made.
Be in control of your instinctsThere's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but acting on your feelings is another story. Believe it or not, you're a strong #woman who is capable of controlling herself. Even if you're dying to kiss a man, you can hold yourself back. Any woman who’s trying to hook up like this is nothing less than a home wrecker. I know that sometimes, you can't help who you fall in love with, but if the great guy you are in love with now is married – it's #time to end it.
Don’t be selfishWomen always love attention, even if it comes from someone who’s already married or seeing someone. And the fact is, they know he’s committed and may not marry them, but they still love the guy anyway. It’s just a fling thing. And beyond that, a rich married man with real money can provide a lot more than a young hot man with penniless dreams. Affairs are all about selfishness. You want him, no matter who it hurts. But do you really want to be that person? If he has kids, you could help him ruin their opinion about him forever. Is your love really worth shattering a child's heart? Some women like the allure of the “other woman”. They don’t have to worry about cooking dishes, cope with a man’s spending sprees, and entertain his friends, nothing! They just want to lead their own life without having to worry about his.
Are you actually happyBeing in love with a married man is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with, especially if he is returning the affection and feelings, but still with his wife. Does it make you happy hiding your relationship? Do you like only seeing him on weekends and late nights? It's hard to be fully happy when your man is married to someone else. Since your happiness is the most important thing, you should leave him in the past. When you fall in love with a married man, it might seem like everything can work out and everything can somehow be great, but truthfully, it isn't just because you are in love and he says he is too, doesn't mean that it is going to work.
He will keep lying to youIf he lied to you in the beginning about whether or not he was married, you should seriously consider whether or not you can trust him. Remember that affairs with a married men are full of drama and deception, they have to keep you feeling like your stifled relationship is worth it, and he will lie to do so. Just know that the lies will keep mounting. When you find yourself falling in love with a married man, life can seem so much simpler and easy in some ways, but there’s always a dark side to it. Your entire #relationship is based on a lie; do you think that will stop even if he does leave his wife?
Be honest with yourselfDo you want to continue to be a secret? To keep him a secret? It's really time to own up and be honest with yourself and be honest with him. Every woman dream is a #man that she can be proud of. You might just end up as a home wrecker who has affairs with married men, it probably would start off as casual flirting, but then it takes a nosedive into sexual overtones in no time. If you stay with him, know that resentment will creep in like a thick fog from his family.
You are likely not be the only womanDid you think about that? This could be a habit. Having affairs with other women could be a habit of his and you could be one of many. That's not a great thing to think about, but it absolutely could be true.
Don’t become anybody’s doormatHowever, when you are dating a married man that is exactly what you are seen as. Even if he is helping you out with bills, you can make it on your own, you are that strong.
You can be more successful without himAffairs with married men and happiness just don’t mix. You need to have a life that works and that is full enough to withstand the pain of the eventual breakup. He has one and you need one, too. Start putting your photo on dating sites; you’ll feel more powerful because you could see that there were a lot of other men out there. Some of these men could take you to exciting places, bought you nice gifts, and even offered you spending money. When you finally do break up, I promise you that you'll feel better, you won't be as stressed and you'll be overall, more successful.
If you always want married men you need to seek helpMost people say it’s the woman who’s the home wrecker, the one who has affairs with married men all the time. Women can be attracted to men for different reasons, all the way from the silliest to the biggest reasons. Women do get attracted to men they can’t have. And if it’s not married men, women also get attracted to men who are dating someone else. And women find themselves falling in love with a married man more often than not. So if you only fall for married men, you need to figure out how to stop the trend. Attending therapy may be the cure you need, or you might just want to hang out at a club meant for singles or register in online dating sites, indicating you want only single men. It'll help you find unattached #men for a change.