The three most important events in a person’s life are the day he is born, the day he marries and the day he dies. Of these, he has no control over the first and the last. He can exercise considerable control over the day he marries and who he marries.
A woman once told me, “I was married and I have a baby girl. The marriage did not work out. We were incompatible and that is why it didn’t work. It lasted only three months and before then I was already pregnant.” It is obvious that the young man and woman have no reason to have married in the first place if they took time to know themselves well before rushing into marriage. If they loved each other for what they were, the marriage would have survived, no matter how many mistakes they made along the way. Marriage needs full-scale commitment. Sensible people don’t just jump into it without first fine-tuning the details.
She must have married him because he appeared manly, was physically strong, and had demonstrated that he was capable of meeting the world and earning a good living. He must have been a man of every girl’s idea of the perfect romantic hero. The man must have been attracted to her because she was pretty and dainty, and possessed those feminine charms which appeal to every young man. They got married for all the wrong reasons and couldn’t find enough good ones to stay married because a successful marriage needs more than physical appearance.
For you to choose a life partner you must consider the following factors:
IDEAL AGE OF MARRIAGE
There are several reasons why teenage marriages are undesirable. Financial security is not easily attended during the teens. Very young couple must either continue to live under the parent’s roof or struggle against such hardships as may cause them to regret venturing into marriage. Under ideal circumstances marriage should be practiced in an independent atmosphere.
Several social researches have proved that the highest percentage of happy marriage result when the groom is not less than twenty-four and the bride not less than twenty-two years of age.
Frequently, people talk of young man choosing a wife, but rarely talk of a young woman choosing a husband. In an ideal situation a young woman should have a say in determining who her husband should be. Marriage involves a mutual agreement, and unalloyed happiness depends as much on the wife as well as on the husband.
Convention in our society requires that a young woman waits to be proposed. However, it is not imperative that she accept the first offer that she receives. A young woman’s way of life as well as her accomplishments, family background and culture will determine the number and the quality of proposals she receives. She cannot expect great attention from a young man of high ideals and from good family if she is know to be flirtatious.
Many young people resent their parents’ insistence on being consulted regarding the choice of who to marry. They fail to realize that their parents have a just reason for being concerned in the future of their children, and for realizing that matrimony is a serious business. Having the advantage of longer experience and broader perspective, parents desire to protect their children from the adverse consequences of rash decisions. However, it is absolutely wrong to force their children to marry individuals of their choice who their children have no affection for. This is very common in undeveloped countries of the world.
The question sometime arises regarding the suitability of two people of widely different social, educational and cultural backgrounds. The similarity of background tends to simplify the adjustment to married life. The greatest cases for adjustments usual occur, where the wife has received better education than her husband. Such situation gives the husband, a sense of inferiority and deprives the wife of that satisfaction which would have come from her husband’s being able to revolve in the same social circle.
Religious affiliation cannot be ignored when contemplating marriage. The common bond of religious faith makes for easier adjustments and provides assurance of continued harmony in the home. Membership of different religion is a serious threat to marital happiness except if properly discussed and agreement reached before marriage. This will permit the children to reared in harmony of one particular religion because religious injunctions virtually helps in the development of the personality.
CONCLUSIONIf you are having serious doubts about marrying postpone the marriage. You should be excited, happy and eager to spend the rest of your life with the partner of your choice. Nervousness is common at this time, but if you notice you have a negative attitude toward your fiancée/fiancé, the wise decision is to wait. Even if the wedding invitations have been sent out, it is better to cancel than to enter marriage with the wrong person or at the wrong time. Do not try to compromise on the person you marry or you would have started on a long journey of pain and unhappiness