Tuesday, 24 January 2017

How Absence of a Father Affects Children

The father's influence cannot be administered by proxy. Growing children need the advantage of their father's presence even more than they need the extra money which he hopes to earn by being constantly away from home. The father's participation in his children's play and his counsel regarding their anxieties and problems gives them that confidence and perspective which is necessary to the building of well-rounded personalities.
The years of childhood pass so fast that the father must be on guard constantly lest he may deny himself the opportunity of spend time with his children and contributing his quota to their having a sense of direction in life. It is during these formative years that he has the opportunity to mold the character, outlook, ambitions, and philosophies of his children. Once the children are grown, he will have ample opportunity to resume his personal idiosyncrasies.
The man must not assume that the responsibility of parenthood rests entirely upon his wife. It takes both parents to provide proper home for the children to grow up. Even though the mother may spend more time at home it is the husband's home as well as his wife's. The children are entitled to the presence of their father as to that of their mother. Just as in the case of the mother-child relationship, so there are mutual benefits to be derived from the contact between father and children.
Obviously, itinerant father have very little influence over his children. And before he could hope to have, he would need to become acquainted with them. And before becoming acceptable to his influence, the children would have to be shown that his love for them is genuine and unselfish. Children need parents that love them and love each other as well. Studies have revealed that children who their father is always away stand the risk of abusing alcohol and drugs than other children. As adolescents make the transition to teenage years, mothers may realize their children are the focus of music videos, magazine adverts and peer pressure. Each trying to steal away parental influence; but alone she may be powerful to keep her children from these overwhelming distractions.
A mother may be watchful, but she can't be everywhere at once or remain awake all hours of the day. When she must monitor her children for signs of drug abuse, academic failure to mention a few, things may have gone out of hand. A single mother doesn't have the energy to challenge her teenagers at every turn; so she prioritizes her battles. While she attends to some others become full blown crises before they get her attention. When the father is around, the mother can get a nap when she tired knowing that her husband is keeping an eye on the children. Under constant watch, care, and concern, children are less likely to experiment with extremes of behavior when they know they have two parents to answer to instead of one.
A mother, however much she would want to, cannot supply what both parents would have as a unit when the father is away. A father's absence will affect the children in many negative ways, most notably by no providing a strong male role for emulating purposes. The absence of a father will hinder the emotional maturity of the children as they will only be seeing the emotions of one gender. There may be no man present to teach them what to expect or what is special about being a male as they grow up.
A father's presence or absence will have profound effect on his daughters as well. Female children may feel less protected without their father around, and have no one to show them how a man should treat his wife and family. Under the influence of a caring and present father, girls grow to womanhood exuding self confidence. They learn first hand the basic rules for male-female relationships by observing their parents. Without a father present, both girls and boys don't always get to see a relationship between a man and a woman working. They have nothing to compare their own relationships with as they grow up, and can end up with partners who take advantage of them.
Although mothers can effectively discipline their children, studies have shown that when a father is not present in a home, children are more likely to derail and exhibit bad and dangerous behavior. This may be because a father discipline is often more powerful and respected than a mothers, or because a single mother has less time and energy to keep control of her children. Neither can replace the other. A mother offers tenderness, but sometimes it takes the familiar deep baritone voice of a father to stop a child unnecessary crying. An older child may ignore a directive from his mother; but will respond to a father's authoritative voice with instant compliance.
Children without a father around them can experience a feeling of intense loss. Try as she might the most dedicated mother raising a child alone can only provide a role model interpreted from the feminine perspective. Both daughter and son will eventually understand that something is missing, especially when they see other children playing with their fathers and they have none. The absence of a father's influence is more noticeable in his sons, who often mirror their father's career, mannerisms, and life philosophies without any conscious consideration. Their father may be deceased, unknown, or absent due to divorce or separation. This creates a gap in what should be a supportive family unit for the growing children. They may feel rejected and unwanted by a father who is living, but does not want to have anything to do with them. Cases abound when children go looking for their fathers after many ages of separation. A father who was previously known to his children but either dies or goes away, leaves the impression of abandonment in the children's hearts. When a father was never known, children will always be left with the feeling that a part of them is missing.
Both mother and father bring different aspect into a family. With both parents around, the children will have more opportunities for fun, excitement, learning and laughter. One parent may be good at certain areas, such as literary works, while the other may be better at engaging the children in arts and crafts.
The lack of money can affect the well-being of a young child and his future. Even an absent father who pays child support will not provide as much money he would have done assuming he is still part of the family. A child without father is likely to be poorer, with fewer choices in life due to lack of funds. Children who don't have the support of a father are less likely to get qualitative education. This is due to the fact that they lack the funds to pay for good schools. They can't even further their education because they need to leave school as soon as possible to work so that they can assist their mother financially.
Without the joint efforts of the parents, children healthcare is often affected adversely. Health insurance may be neglected, and a mother is less likely to have the money to pay for treatment when required. The overall picture regarding how the absence of a father affects children is that they grow up with less of the standard of living they would have had had their father lived with them. They have less emotional support and discipline, less money to provide them with good health and education, and less inbuilt ammunition to use in future to combat events that may develop.
However, in the situation where the father is absent because he split up with his wife on grounds of incompatibility, children may be better off when their parents are living apart. The lack of a father is still a great loss, but living in a house full of violence may not be a better option.


dpirsm said...

very well presented

Tonymodus said...

Thanks dpirsm for taking time to write an encouraging comment. I appreciate it greatly. Please make your comments whenever you feel so, I will be glad to read from you.