Saturday 14 February 2015

15 TIPS OF RAISING SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN

Tips of Raising Successful Children

During the period between marriage and the coming of the first child, the bride and groom have normally given their undivided attention to each other. But with the coming of the first child this affection has to be divided. Raising successful children is very important to the happiness of a home, so it is very necessary that it is done with seriousness it deserves. Brian Tracy wrote, “As an adult, you are still affected by things that your parents did or didn’t do. The way you treat your children is strongly influenced by the way your parents treated you. It has consequences that cascade down the generations, and it has an enormous influence on their lifelong happiness and well-being.” When you have a child, a high level of self-discipline is essential in order to fulfill your commitment and deliver on your responsibility. You should be encouraging, supportive, kind, patient, educational, loyal, honest, caring and loving.
Show love and care to your children
Children need love like roses need rain. Expression of love should not be by kissing and fondling alone, but by words of appreciation and comfort. They need to be told continually that you love them that you admire their character, the good choices they make and their good attitudes. Without sufficient love and acceptance, children exhibit all kinds of personality and physical problems. However, words are not enough. You must back words with actions. If a child knows that you love and admire him, he will then accept the fact that when you discipline him it is for his own good. He will realize that you have his best interest at heart.
Educate your children
Make sure you send your children to school, because knowledge is power. Training your children might be on for a period of twenty to twenty-five years. Supply them with the best education for their talents and skills. This will be the best legacy you leave behind. When they are properly educated they can always be able to take care of themselves because only after the children have been trained and reached adulthood and have become satisfactorily independent of you is it reasonable for you to assume that your obligation to your children has been discharged.
Give your kids responsibilities
As your children grow you have to give them more responsibilities. It’s a delicate balancing act. You should not give them more responsibilities than they can handle but at the same time you should not do everything for them. Allow them to make mistakes because they will learn from them. Expecting them to do everything right first time will be unrealistic expectation.
Teach your children forgiveness
The inability to forgive lies at the root of most negative emotions. The Bible says that revenge should be left for the Lord. When you practice forgiveness, when you freely let things go, your children grow up with the ability as well. When you hold grudges against people it is like a poison to your system, because it eats you up. This saves them from years of unhappiness as the result of someone hurting them in some way, which will always happen.
Spend time with your children
Today many parents spend too little time with their children. Many of them are very busy earning money. Growing children need the advantage of their parents’ presence even more that they need the extra dollars which they hope to earn by being constantly away from home. Some parents believe that buying expensive gifts for their children is the answer; yet when those children become teenagers, many turn to alcohol, sex and drugs to satisfy their empty feelings created by lack of parental love. Parents’ influence cannot be administered by proxy. When you become a parent, you must discipline yourself and organize your life so you can spend ample time with your child throughout his or her growing years. You must discipline yourself to cut back, or eliminate other activities that prevent you from being an excellent parent.
Teach your children the words of God
Developing proper values and teaching proper conduct to your children is a lifelong job. Teach your children the way they should follow and when they grow up they will not depart from it. You cannot give a single lecture on good virtues and then forget about it. You must repeat the lesson by discussion and example over and over, all the time while your children are with you. Direct them to the scripture when they have problems and buy Christian books for them to read. There are many books written to guide and counsel children.
Bring up your children in a happy home
It takes both parents to provide a proper home for children. The children are entitled to the influence of a father just as to that of a mother. Sense of security at home is essential. At every stage of your child’s life, your words, actions, non-actions, and behaviors are shaping and influencing that child and determining how he or she will turn out as an adult. I have never known a child who grew up in an unhappy home being the best of behavior or the one who thought his home was a prison. You need to always provide a safe haven for them to come home to –no matter how much trouble they’ve got themselves into in the big world outside.
Teach by example
If you your children to behave in a certain way, you must model that method of behavior continually. Children and teenagers learn more by what you do, than by what you say.
Parents’ ambition
There is nothing more unfair to a child than trying to force him into a parent’s mold without considering the child’s own abilities, interests, and ambitions. This makes the child resentful toward them. It will also build up in the child a strong feeling that he is inferior to other children. You must accept your child as he is and love him for what he is. Check your selfishness, quickly and completely. If you don’t, your child’s personality will suffer.
Praise your children for whatever they do well and punish when they disobey
You will be firm, loving, sharing, caring and responsible. However, praise more than you punish. Always try to be alone with your child to discipline. Remember that your objective is to bring the will of the child into submission so he will learn obedience, but not to break his spirit.
Show interest in your children's activities
Your child needs encouragement when he feels inadequate to meet a situation or problem. Attend their school functions when you can. You will approve of them, boost their self-esteem, improve their confidence and send them out into the world literate, educated, polite, helpful and productive members of society
Communicate with your children
Keep communication open with them when they are young, because they require great understanding and patience and these come by way of love and acceptance. Because of the many differences between you and your children, it takes tremendous discipline to build and maintain a long-term, loving, and happy relationship. During their teens is the most challenging age of children, due to the fact that they are no longer children and yet they are not adults. Their greatest need at this time is self-confidence which you should help them build.
Don't over protect your children
Help your children to be independent. Don't take their side against authorities if your children are wrong. But don't side people or authorities against them either. Assume the posture that they remain innocent until proven guilty. Trust them, but if they betray the trust, then punish them. Love your children but hate their wrong deeds.
It is your duty to teach your children to work
Boys need to be taught to do household repairs. They are more likely to have a better respect for their spending of money if they work for it themselves. Boys should also learn how to do some domestic jobs like cooking and housecleaning. They will need the experience when they leave home and live alone or when their wives become ill after they are married. The girls should be taught to cook, sew, clean, shop, iron and even bake cake etc. they should be taught how to be good wives and mother. And the best time to begin is when they are young.
Pay special attention to your children's hygienic habits
Endeavor to teach your children hygienic habits because it is said that cleanliness to close to Godliness. An attractive person will be noticed, even sought after, without being unnecessarily loud.
Recognize and respect each child’s individuality
Each child is an individual, with unique and special characteristics that make him or her different from other children. As time goes on, your child will develop according to his own traits and capacities. Each child has different ideas, tastes, desires, hopes, dreams, and expectations. Your child needs stimulating experiences and opportunities to develop his inborn traits. Even in early life, a child must be given opportunities to try his own powers, his own inclinations. He needs to be helped and guided to understand those powers and inclinations. The kindest way to treat your children when they make mistakes is to behave with calmness and compassion and to help them learn the lessons contained in the problem or difficulty.

video

Thursday 12 February 2015

PURIFY LOVE'S TESTIMONY





"My Testimony on The Effects of Men & Women on the DOWN-LOW(DL)" Written By Purify Love ©2015 / Written at 
5:00pm on 2/11/2015
*~Please Share This on Your Walls & With Anyone That You Think May Need It, THANK YOU!!!~*
Being one that has come out of the "Lifestyle" of Homosexuality, Bi-Sexuality, and being on the Down-Low, I must share my experience on the Relevance of this topic. When I began to have strong attractions towards women, that I can remember, was about 6 years old. I was molested when I was 3yrs. old by the GODmother of my adoptive family. This opened a pandora's box up in my life at a time that my mind was not even fully developed enough to understand what she was doing or had done to me. Nonetheless, it was an irreversible selfish act placed upon me that would inevitably change and effect the majority of my life. Growing up, I can remember the dynamics of a very saddened young girl, plagued with not knowing my biological mother or father, becoming orphaned, then another label being placed on me as a foster child in a home where I wasn't even being fed. By the time I was adopted and placed into a permanent home, that home was full of physical abuse by my adoptive mother, and then the molestation happened. I rationalized, reasoned, and wondered, is there a God, so I would pray hoping that there was and He would take all these bad things away...I can remember being a very young girl crying myself to sleep thinking, "maybe my biological mother would come look for me and save me from all of this pain", I thought of her as "Wonder Woman" back then. As I became older in my adolescence, I can remember being attracted to my 1st Grade Teacher, she always had a mothering spirit towards me, and payed me special attention. Instead of just looking at this and receiving it as genuine love, I would subconsciously and unknowingly translate it into attraction towards her. The more she showed me love, the more attracted I became. I can remember feeling hyper-sexual as a small child and not understanding what I was experiencing. It is AMAZING what a few Violative touches by an adult can do to a child. I can remember having my first little boyfriend in the 2nd grade, I was attracted to boys & girls at the time, looking back I now realize that, but at the time, I battled with the normalcy of if girls were supposed to like girls. So I kept that part of me to myself, not knowing how to talk about it to an adult or who to talk to, as abuse was transpiring in my home, so I didn't feel safe enough to be vulnerable about my feelings, (parents take not of this, you must be AWARE and step outside of selfishness in order to provide a safe environment for your child, for you never know what they may be struggling with no matter how young). As I became older in adolescence I battled and literally struggled with my security, confidence, self-esteem, soul, spirit, and mind, I was in conflict within myself, and was fighting a battle that not one person knew was going on. I was a Tomboy growing up, loved playing basketball, football, boxing, etc...just loved being with the boys, I cannot say exclusively that this was a bi-product of the molestation, but more so a acclimation to assimilate to my surroundings as I had around me 2 brothers, a father, and a mother that had a Type-A personality(More aggressive than passive). I did not really have a softer feminine presence around me consistently enough to show me the ends and outs of femininity, not that my mother was not feminine, but she was more so authoritative and aggressive with me than compassionate. This created distance and a break down in our mother-daughter relationship, it also caused me not to feel SAFE in my femininity and less protected, so it was easier for me to copy, imitate, and immolate that of the male counterparts that surrounded me everyday within my home. Honestly it felt safer to me in case I needed to protect my feeling, emotions, or physical self from hurt, harm, or danger, besides men never really talked much about anything serious, so it was fun hanging with the boys during a complex internal life I was experiencing. I can remember watching my dad and imitating the way he crossed his legs, the way he read the newspaper, he drank coffee, so I assimilated, unknowingly to myself and others. As I came into my pre-teens, my attraction towards females became a mental consumption, diabolical in a sense, in that my mind and heart was infatuated with desirous notions and temptations on stepping outside of myself to attempt to be with a female, the craving begin to eat me from the inside out. I started sneaking and watching sexually provocative movies when I was between 8-10 on cable, HBO to be specific, and then was introduced to pornography in my teens. This only added to the strong sexual desire I had secretly to be with a woman. I was feeding a fire and flame that I had no idea would burn me and eventually consume me. I was ashamed and felt less than a woman to like women, I knew in my heart that it was not normalcy, but I could not control my urges and did not have an (out)let other than to LET-IT-OUT! I battled back and forth to just come out and tell someone, but I couldn't, I did not want my family to be ashamed of me, and what residue of self-esteem that I had left I didn't want to be snatched away by the judgments of my parents or others. When I turned 14, I could not hold this desire anymore and fell in love with a girl at my school. We decided to keep it on the Down-Low for fear of our families and peers finding out. This was her and my 1st experience with same-sex attraction. I can remember our relationship being very co-dependant, over-sexualized, and possesive, it was a living emotional roller-coaster to say the least. One day my father and her family found letters written on similar paper that we had wrote each other. The CAT was out of the bag. I can remember my father saying, "I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TYPE OF ACTIVITY IN MY HOUSEHOLD", after embarrassing me by reading the letter I wrote to me out loud. I can remember my mother saying "Bi***, I will never forgive you". They were hurt that I had lied to them for so long and others that surrounded me, which I did, so I get both sides mines and theirs, it was difficult. It was the classic story of Judgment, one that shaped my life for the majority of my life. Eventually I tried to commit suicide in an attempt to end it all, I just could not face my life, self, or others anymore. I felt I was empty and my soul became dark. Another area in my life that had failed yet again, another area of acceptance that I found myself without, I felt lost, my identity shattered over and over again. Although my parents had concrete evidence, I still never admitted it, thinking it would all just go away, and also, because I hadn't admitted to myself FULLY that I was indeed a homosexual. The more I stayed in the homosexual relationship, the more manly I became, feeling I had something to prove and be more masculine than the men I saw in everyday life, I was consumed on how to please my girlfriend and wanted to marry her, I considered her the only person to love me for who I was without judgment, so it fueled the fire causing me to lose more of myself in her, as I felt she was my only safe-haven. She broke up with me after several years of being together and I found out she was cheating on me with a man when he answered the phone, while she was at his house during being away to college. I attempted to take my life over this hurt from my then girlfriend. My life was shattered. Rejection seemed to be a part of my DNA that I could not relinquish from my life since birth, adding a deeper sense of VOID, with me trying to fill it with anything I could get my hands on. I dated a few more girls, and then at 17 I dated a guy that I agreed to make an official serious boyfriend as he showed me the attention that I was missing from my own father, as my father was a great father, but emotionally unavailable in my teenage years. I had many sexual encounters with the few females I dated, but was a virgin with men. Nevertheless this first official boyfriend raped me and threatened to kill me during the process of that rape, he told me if I tell anyone he would kill my family, as he was a big time Hustler and later I found out he was an undercover corrupt DEA. Teens can find themselves in the craziest of situations...young and naive. All those years, I had still not come out to those surrounding me about the truth of my sexual identity. But the rape was the final straw. I sat all my boys (my male friends I hung out with day in and out), and while smoking some marijuana and drinking (which were some of my coping mechanisms), I came clean and said, "I am a homosexual." To my surprise, (as you think you are hiding, but people can see you), some of them said, they already knew, others asked me questions of why, but overall they said they accepted me and didn't care. I felt good about this. I began to become more forthright in my new found masculinity and homosexual identity. I had times where I hated men and was not attracted to them at all, and then times of bi-sexuality where I was attracted to both men and women. During the times of bi-sexuality, I feared telling the men that I was with about my attraction towards women, so i didn't in the former part, but eventually they found out by being told or seeing signs and ended up hurt that lied to them and was not honest from the beginning, I understood their anger and pain, yet I still continued in my lie, to afraid. As I got into adulthood, I battled with coming out about being bi-sexual, as they are looked at as greedy and freaks among the straight and homosexual community. Eventually someone I spoke with in private said to me, "you Tiffany, have to be honest with Tiffany, it is not right nor fair for you to bring someone into a relationship with you without giving them the choice to decide if they want to deal with someone who is bi-sexual or not, some will, some won't, but at least you have respected their soul by giving them the right and respect, and also you are showing respect and love for yourself by being honest and true to yourself." I thought, she is right, I had already hurt many by not coming clean, and my conscious increased to respect others by being honest with my truth, they can take it or leave it, I need to be ok with that, and even more so ok with MYSELF. So, I set off on my new found me, and stated from the beginning that I was attracted to both sexes when dealing with men, and women, as gay women felt that as well that it was also a betrayal not to tell them, as some gay women do not like to deal with bi-sexual women. The more I did it, the more empowered I felt because I was being honest with myself and others and I allowed them to choose if this was something they were ok within their souls with, and that in turn was freeing to me. During my time in the life, which spanned over 20 years, I had many friends from all walks of the LBGT Community. I have seen the struggles with coming clean about sexual identity, I have been to male gay clubs and seen men being sexual with other men, and knowing that when they walk out of the club they act straight, have wives, children, and counterparts that have no clue of their secret lives. I have seen bi-sexual women in gay clubs that have husbands, children, and their counterparts have no idea of their secret lifestyles. I have seen men and women cheating on each other with the same sex, and I have DONE IT. I have seen people hide a COMPLETE OTHER LIFE from the populace successfully while practicing every secret perversion under the sun. There is a WHOLE OTHER WORLD many do not know that's out there or that even EXISTS. It is going on in clubs, in gyms, in homes, and anywhere where those of the Down-Low community can set up SHOP to follow their secret desires and fulfill their lustful cravings and strong addictions of choice. The TRUTH is what must be said today, the truth is what heals, the truth is what saves destruction from the Down Low Individual and those that he/she are connected with inter-personally. See what the Down-Low person is not thinking about is how it will adversely effect their children (if they have children), how it will damage their marriage if practicing infidelity, how it will cause violation towards and within the individuals that are their partners who do not know the truth as of yet, what if they find out? The damage has already been done. They do not realize how much damage they are inflicting upon themselves to have to carry the weight of lies and continue to lie just to protect the previous lies. The consequences are extreme. I have known women to turn to women, (same-sex-attraction), after being betrayed by a down-low man, and vice versa, I have known men to turn to men, after being betrayed by their wife or significant other. The effects could be a lifetime of damage, you never know how your selfish actions will adversely effect another maybe even for the rest of their lives. The truth of the matter is that, if you are on the Down-Low, then you have not yet accepted your SELF. It is one thing to be gay and profess that to make others aware that need to know, that is respectable and honest, people can choose to be what or who they want, but to fool others and yourself, while knowingly taking the risk of possibly hurting another is dark in nature, it is deceitful. I was that dark-natured person, that deceitful person, I regret all of the people I hurt, damaged, or effected by betraying them with a life of lies that I actively brought them into without them even knowing. I have since apologized to all that I have hurt in those years previously, and underwent a great amount of christian counseling over my adolescent and even adult years to allow God to heal and clean off the remaining residue that was there. GOD wants you to be honest, be whole, be healed, be loved, and be accepted by HIM. He knows what is going on in your soul, mind, spirit, life, and world. He understands that this world we live in is dark, cold, complex, and can offer some of the most hardest situations to the most greatest, beautiful, and most sincerest spirited people. It is time to come clean. It is time to deal with that elephant that is in the room haunting you, getting bigger by the second. It is time for the mirrors to come from out of the closet, from under the bed, from all the places one may hide them as not to see self. It is time for FREEDOM, and that freedom is in your VOICE to say, I AM WHO I AM, and I must confront that, face it, accept, reject it, or CHANGE. I must DECIDE to live a life that is honest, whole, healthy, and free of regret, no matter who thinks what about it, I must be ok with being me, and if I am not, then I must ASK MYSELF, WHY AM I DOING IT AT ALL. Once I was faced with this question, I personally decided to allow God to heal me, and knew that a heterosexual lifestyle was what I truly desired, but life had intercepted that. I than took the steps and pathway necessary towards becoming whole through healing, I had the support of GOD, many mentors, teachers, people from my church, counselors, and even friends that helped me along the way towards wholeness and healthiness. Not everyone accepted me, or understood my struggle, but that was ok, because there were some that did, and that made all the world of difference in my support process. I am grateful that I can no say, I live my life in the LIGHT of TRUTH, and my life is now WHOLE, because I earned it, by going and growing through the process of self-confrontation. I can now say with all audacity, power, and honesty...I AM FREE. I love ALL of you who are going through any of these areas of being on the down-low or being in the lifestyle period, I understand, I have lived it's depths, and I told my story to help those that are seeking answers, those that are tired of crying alone silently, those that are trapped in situations where they NEVER thought they'd be, I have been there. I have had to come clean on so many occasions and speak the truth because my conscious could not hurt another partner, another human being, another life, thus hurting myself even deeper. The DOWN-LOW does not have to be the DOWN LOW. Come clean, be ok with you, even if you don't fully understand that you, if you need help, ask, without fear, those that judge you and are insensitive to helping you come out should not be in your circle anyway, that is THEIR TEST to pass, not yours to take on and internalize. GOD has help, and HE WILL send it. Just take my life as an example as to what GOD can do for ANYONE. May God bless you ALL and HEAR your prayers of healing, for we ALL are HIS children, and HE is waiting t come in and love on the souls of those that desire it. Also, I am here, if you need guidance, prayer, an ear, or a pathway on coming out of it, you are not alone as this effects thousands across the world. Also, if you are the family, spouse, or child of someone that you suspect or have found evidence of someone doing this, I will assist you in whatever way i can with God's guidance. All people's hearts are important, let healing cover the wounds of many in these perilous times, it is time to let LOVE in, for LOVE heals ALL.
~Purify Love/Purify Love Movement ©2015~

The Purify Love Movement
www.purifylove.com
Follow Me: IG: @purify Love
Twitter: @purifytruthlove
LinkedIn: @purifytruthlove
Pinterest: @purifytruthlove

Tuesday 10 February 2015

NEVER GIVE UP

Some of the most successful people in history failed and, instead of being discouraged, refused to give up. For example, consider the following:
·         Henry Ford, who invented the automobile, went broke five times before he succeeded in business.
·         The great dancer and movie star Fred Astaire took a screen test at MGM studios in 1933. A studio memo reported he was slightly bald, could not act, and could dance a little.
·         The family of Louisa May Alcott, the great author who wrote the popular book Little Women, thought she should abandon the idea of being a writer and become a seemstress instead.
·         A newspaper fired Walt Disney for lack of ideas, and he went bankrupt several times before building Disneyland.
·         Enrico Caruso’s parents believed a voice teacher who said he has no future in music –he simply could not sing at all. He did not believe the teacher and became one of the most famous opera singers in the world.
·         Theodore Roosevelt suffered the deaths of both his mother and his wife on the same day in 1884 before he became a war hero and very effective president of the United States.
·         John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, was often asked to not return to churches after preaching in them once. When he preached in a meadow, people turned a bull loose on him. But later, because he refused to give up, he preached in a pasture and ten thousand people came to hear him.

Culled from Never Give Up by Joyce Meyer.