Friday 26 September 2014

THE LIES SOME MARRIED WOMEN TELL TO COVER THEIR HUSBAND’S INADEQUANCIES



Lies Some Married Women Tell

What some married women say about their marriage is most of the time the opposite of the truth and reality of what their life is. Her priest/pastor has taught her that ‘marriage is forever’ and that ‘marriage is till death, do you part’. Some people believe that all divorced women are loose and lousy. Here are some of those lies married women tell.
The lie: The best husband ever
The truth: My husband coming back to the world again? God forbid! If that wicked man is coming back to the world, then I am definitely not coming. That way there is no likelihood our path will cross, let alone marry. I have had enough of him for eternity. I know God is not wicked, so He won’t allow me to marry this heartless man again.
The lie: My husband never lifts hand on me
The truth: He is crazy. He usually uses me as a punching bag. He has removed two of my teeth and I had been hospitalized with broken noses before. His eyes light up when he’s beating me, as if he has gone crazy. He can win international award for wife battery. It’s not funny.
The Lie: My husband is the perfect gentleman; a typical husband every woman dreams of
The truth: Perfect gentleman, indeed. He has no table manners; he talks with his mouth full and doesn’t know difference between desert spoon and teaspoon. His composure in the public is appalling. If he’s not picking his nose in public, he’s eating his nails. He’s forever embarrassing me in public. What’s worse, the only topic he can discuss intelligently is football. He can’t name ten world leaders but he can tell you the names of the goalkeepers in the Premiership. He doesn’t love me. He forgets my birthday, comes home late on our wedding anniversary and has locked my mother out of our home before. I show concern for him as my friend and I communicate with him. I wish he would love me like that. He runs me down in front of my friends.
The lie: My husband is very faithful
The truth: This one? He is the most flirtatious man ever created. He punches my friends’ buttocks when he thinks I’m not looking. I have given up on him and accepted my fate. He has two children outside from two different women. This is the ones I know of, they could be others I’m yet to know of. He is a dog. If you put a skirt on an electric pole, he’ll wink at it. He’s insatiable. My worry is for my life. A man who has children outside his marriage is a non-condom-wearing type. And that makes me susceptible to HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
The lie: I’m just still in the marriage because of my kids
The truth: Leave him and go where? Who will take care of me like he does? Leave him and forfeit my good life –summer and winter holidays wherever I want, contacts that being married to him gives me and the good sex? Not on your life! Sure, sometimes I feel like killing him but I’m not leaving him. Even if he wants to divorce me, I will resist it with all I have. In fact, he’d have to die to get rid of me. The advantages of staying with him far outweigh his flaws. Never mind the children angle, if I really want to go I can take them, can’t I? I’m simply not going anywhere , now or ever.
The lie: He has helped to promote my career
The truth: That man is always doing all he can to jeopardize my career. If you know what I have had to stomach to remain his wife, you will pity me. This man has come to my office several times to harass my colleagues, accuse my boss of sleeping with me. He is the kind of fellow who thinks he is always right and everyone else is wrong. The pillar of my life regularly locks me out of the house if I return home later than he wants. Right now we are in the middle of a major altercation because I want to go abroad to round off a PhD program and he has said if I go, it would be the end of the marriage.
The Lie: He is a great provider.
The truth: I pay the rent and the children’s school fees. The financial burden on me is too much and the emotional and physical stress astronomical. I am the one who makes sure he doesn’t lack anything but it is such a shame and I cannot tell anybody. This human being is lazy but he loves the good life. I am still around because if I leave today, everybody will declare me guilty, arrogant and a deserter. I wish things were different but I have to sustain this lie.
The Lie: His sexual drive is great.
The truth: He doesn’t want sex often. I’m lucky if he touches me once in a month. Even when he does, I never had an orgasm. I always ask myself, “Why doesn’t he know how to make me hot so I can feel orgasm?” after sex he always went to sleep, and I would cry quietly, feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t get satisfied. He is a busy man and all he thinks about are his business and golf. The tradeoff of having more money is less time for his family. He has consigned me to dustbin of celibacy. I am so horny, I feel like cheating on him. Can you blame me?
Conclusion
For the first few weeks, months or even years of a new relationship, things can be effortlessly wonderful. But sooner or later real life kicks in and the relationship. To avoid having to tell these lies, make sure you make the right choice. If your partner doesn’t care about you now, at the start of the relationship, things will go downhill if you stay together. Don’t imagine that moving in together or getting married is going to make it all better, because I can tell you that it will make it all worse.
Somewhere out there is someone who’ll care for you properly, in every sense. Don’t throw yourself away on someone who won’t. it will damage your confidence and your self-esteem over the year, as well as making you unhappy. So do yourself a favor and wait for someone better to come along.
Some women marry men thinking they’re going to change them. They wind up disappointed. Whether you’re young or old, if the person you’re marrying isn’t going to quit doing something before you are married, then that person is not going to quit after you are married. And if you don’t like the person just as he is, then you better forget it, because you’re not going to change that person.


Tuesday 16 September 2014

50 Ways You Can Become a Better Father



Fatherhood involves loads of hard work. It takes strength, courage, and determination. A father is supposed to be a role model in a family but in some families there is lack of positive male roles. It is true too many fathers are absent from home working to provide for the family and unable to take responsibility for their children. When you have made an honest effort to be the best father you can be, your child/children will notice your effort and will have greater respect for you, because with few positive images of fathers around, girls don't know what to look for in a man, and young men don't know how to treat a woman.
By not striving to be the best father you can be, you run the risk of not building a loving bond with your child/children. The most important area of life you can prepare your children for is marriage and family, and their best preparation is to live with a dad who loves their mom.
There are, however, many fathers who are sincerely trying to live up to their responsibilities. Having been married for 27 years, with six children; four college graduates, I can say with conviction that the tips listed below can help you become a better father, which I have tried to be to my children.
  • Be more active in childrearing responsibilities. Help your wife with your crying child when she is busy with other house chores. Get more practice. Don’t assume that raising kids is strictly your wife’s sole responsibility. And the way you’re going to a better father is by helping out. Get more practice. If you don’t know what to do, classes are available to help fathers learn the basics of caregiving. Learning to be an active and involved dad will make you a better father, because leaving everything to your partner makes you miss out in taking care of your child.
  • Take time out from work and be available for your children. Plan to spend quality time with your family. Children who are physically connected to their dads tend to do better in school, more social, and are less likely to get involved in drugs, alcohol, or criminal behavior than children whose dads keep their distance. Take time out from work for family time.
  • Be emotionally available to your children. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions to your family. Physical interaction is undoubtedly an important part of the father-child relationship, but being emotionally available and involved is critical, too.
  • Praise your kid when he performs well; be in in education or sports or any other event. A man makes a lasting mark on his kids' lives when he gives them appropriate praise.
  • Inspire your children. You can give your children lifelong self-worth. How your children perceive their worth in dad's eyes powerfully influences their lives. Your mission as a father is to present to the world a gift from your home properly trained child/children.
  • Show love to your children, by hugging and/or kissing them. Tell your children how much they mean to you. Smile at your children.
  • Work on improving your relationship with your wife because the relationship between husband and wife affects the children in the home. When you yell at your wife frequently, whatever you say about kindness and caring won't count in your children's eyes. Let your children see you sharing love and affection with their mother. When you and your wife have a conflict, show your children, you can make up.
  • When your children have something to tell you, listen to them with all of your attention. Your children's importance to you can be measured by how you attend to them. The toughest thing for most fathers is to learn how to listen to their children.
  • Let your children understand that they will be held accountable for their actions and words. They must adhere to rules.
  • Have a fitness plan in place and get your kids to join in. allowing your children to go obsess is unacceptable. Take them for walks or jogging, and leave the car at home. Make their health and fitness a priority.
  • Admit you’re wrong when you are. If you make mistake, apologize. If you’re unable to keep a promise, or done something to upset your child, make a sincere apology. I haven’t met a father yet who doesn’t make mistakes.
  • Give your children respect you. Don’t do to them those things you didn’t want your parents do to you. Remember the Golden Rule. It does apply to children as well as adults.
  • Help your children in their studies. Help them do their home works. Read stories out loud to the teenagers. Get down on their level and try to see things as they do.
  • Avoid misplaced aggression. Don’t treat your kids harshly because your day in the office was bad.
  • Endeavor to make provision for their education. Open a savings account for your children's education.
  • Be friendly with your children. Reach out to them once in a while, and ask them what you can do better. Then do it better.
  • Be generous. Buy them gifts if he performed well in his/her examination as a form of encouragement. Gives them an incentive to reach greater heights.
  • Allow your kids make their own choices. Some fathers will want to force their children to study some subjects or profession they lack interest in. You can imagine a doctor that hates the sight of blood.
  • Take your family for picnic when you have the time. Explore every park in your neighborhood. It doesn't have to be expensive.
  • Be a patient. Give yourself time to cool off before you react to your children’s actions. Don’t discipline your child when you’re anger. Never call your children names instead of criticizing, offer encouragement because demeaning words from dad inflict deep wounds in children. He is only a good child with bad behavior. The bad behavior can be changed with careful attention.
Show good example because your kids will mirror your actions, so watch what you do or say around them.
  • Parenting is a shared responsibility. Parents need to cooperate and support each other for the sake of the children. It's unfair to your wives that you often come home too tired from our jobs, to be of any help. If any of your child got disciplined in your absence by his/her mother, you should support your wife’s action, or you send wrong signal to the child.
  • If you are confusion about any situation, you can consult elders. Ask them the best to handle the situation. Don’t let excess pride prevent you from seeking help.
  • Visit your children’s school once in a while. Meet their teachers and ask how they are doing academically and see if there is any way you can help.
  • You can teach your children how to be of help to others by volunteering in your neighborhood, church, or school. It will inculcate in them spirit of selfless service.
  • Show love to your children. Don't be afraid to show your tender side. Tender words and affection matter. Studies show that when children don't experience affection at home, they will search for it in self-destructive ways.
  • Read a book about fatherhood and gain knowledge that will help you become a better father.
  • Act as if you’re the best dad ever by cooking a meal for your children once a while as a pleasant surprise.
  • Speak as one with your wife, so your kids don’t play you off on one another. A united family makes children feel secure.
  • Say no when you mean it, and stand by it; even if they don’t like it. Don’t over-pamper them. You could be destroying them instead.
  • Show your wife respect always. Make sure your kids do also.
  • Take the time to really explain things to your children, so they can understand what made you take the decision you took. Don’t just give your kids the answers to questions. Show them how to find the answers. We love to give advice, but only by listening will we learn what their hearts need.
  • Periodically assess your parenting style and change course if needed. Don’t be unhappy or reluctant to change if it will make you a better father.
  • Encourage your children to learn a new skill. Make something by hand with them. Don’t worry about perfection; just enjoy the process builds bond between you.
  • Find out about your family history and share it with your kids to enable them know their root.
  • To prevent financial embarrassment, get out of debt as quick as you can, and teach your kids about the value of being prudent and debt-free.
  • Use every opportunity you’ve got, to show your children that you could be trusted, and the virtue of following your example.
  • Learn to create lively atmosphere in your home by sharing funny jokes and do so often.
  • Hold a family meeting and get your kid to make input on important decisions, especially those that might have impact on their well-being..
  • Have patience with your children’s inadequacies. Don’t expect them to be perfect.
  • Don’t insist on conformity to your choice. Let your kids follow their dreams, not yours.
  • Don’t criticize them in the presence of their friends. They may feel embarrassed and try to revolt. Children take everything you say to heart.
  • Keep your relationship issues between you and your wife from the children, and avoid trying to settle your marital disputes by using your children as pawns.
  • Take your children to your office when possible and explain what you do for a living, this will enable them appreciate what you go through in order to provide for them.
  • Once in a while, give them freedom to socialize with friends.
  • Ensure you keep your promises to your children. When you promise to do something for your kids, do as you promised. If you are unable to meet your promise, explain why and apologize.
  • Give your kids responsibilities and make them to understand that they must sow before they can reap.
  • Plan surprises for them and keep them guessing.
  • Teach your children the spirit of sportsmanship by playing games with them. Let them win sometimes, but don’t make it obvious or easy.
  • Give your wife a day off once in a while, and get the kids to help you do domestic chores, especially during the weekends, when all of you are at home.
  • Don’t allow other adults exhibit unacceptable behavior around your kids. Monitor the type of company they keep in order to protect them from bad influences.

Monday 15 September 2014

THINGS WOMEN HATE ABOUT MEN


The business of being a husband, a good husband does not happen incidentally. A man must work at being a good husband. If you are an unmarried and reading this hub, it will help you to be a great husband. There are some habits men have that annoy women to the core.
TV viewing habits
Women often make disparaging comments about TV viewing habits of men especially watching endless sports programs Women believe that the size of your TV is in inverse proportion to the size of your brain.
Disorderliness
Women hate to see things out of place, distorting their goals for each room. Most of them are so organized that they believe “A place for everything and everything in its place.” They want to maintain their home in immaculate condition. Some men are fond of pulling their shirts and dropping them scattered in the living room, or abandoned their shoes all over the place or a wet towel on the bed. All these disorderliness get on women’s nerves.
Irresponsibility
Women hate irresponsible men. Men who are not capable of caring for the family. They prefer to waste their money on frivolous things rather than take care of their families.
Drunkenness
Women hate it when their partners become drunk and constitute a nuisance in public. What a disappointing, demeaning, disgusting and dark day it must be for a woman when her husband gets drunk in a social event. The man she once thought to be her hero now causes her to be ashamed, because there are people watching.
Lack of intimacy
Take time to sit and talk with her. Let her know your thought and feelings. Be careful how you talk to her when you’re angry. Look for her good qualities. Tell her often how good you are for these qualities. When she does something kind, thank her. He loves my body, but does not love me. He loves sex, but show little affection. Tell your wife I love you always and tell her why you love her.
The gathering of junks
Some men have the habit of gathering junks. They find it different to dispose their non-functional or obsolete appliances. One mobile phone, one charger—it's all you need. But no, some men will have wires crawling round the house like vines. Then the drawers are full of old cables that look like nests of vipers. Some old phones, cameras and computers, keys are things they no longer needed but a reluctant to throw away. Those old shoes, books and clothes, those empty wine glasses and old magazines only help to congest the house.
Adjusting the privates
Adjusting the privates is a habit most women hate. This isn’t something that you grow out of after puberty. It may not be sexual, and may just be for the purposes of comfort but it is something that women often complain about. Despite the reason, it isn’t the most hygienic practice for a man to be handling his manhood all the time.
Lack of appreciation
You promised to love and cherish your wife when you married, so love her. A woman asked her husband why he didn’t tell her he loved her anymore and he replied. “I told you once, and I’ve not changed my mind about that; assuming I did, I would have told you.” This is not good enough. Every woman wants to hear “I appreciate the way you work hard to care for our kids, or home etc. Bring her gifts if you can as a token of your appreciation.
Selective hearing
Men all over the world have sat in front a television and watched a program while their wife or girlfriend attempted to initiate conservation with them to no avail. Pretending to listen to her or selectively listening to her is more annoying to women than just not listening at all.
Disorderliness
Women hate to see things out of place, distorting their goals for each room. Most of them are so organized that they believe “A place for everything and everything in its place.” They want to maintain their home in immaculate condition. Some men are fond of pulling their shirts and dropping them scattered in the living room, or abandoned their shoes all over the place or a wet towel on the bed. All these disorderliness get on women’s nerves.
Irresponsibility
Women hate irresponsible men. Men who are not capable of caring for the family. They prefer to waste their money on frivolous things rather than take care of their families.
Drunkenness
Women hate it when their partners become drunk and constitute a nuisance in public. What a disappointing, demeaning, disgusting and dark day it must be for a woman when her husband gets drunk in a social event. The man she once thought to be her hero now causes her to be ashamed, because there are people watching.
Lack of intimacy
Take time to sit and talk with her. Let her know your thought and feelings. Be careful how you talk to her when you’re angry. Look for her good qualities. Tell her often how good you are for these qualities. When she does something kind, thank her. He loves my body, but does not love me. He loves sex, but show little affection. Tell your wife I love you always and tell her why you love her.
The gathering of junks
Some men have the habit of gathering junks. They find it different to dispose their non-functional or obsolete appliances. One mobile phone, one charger—it's all you need. But no, some men will have wires crawling round the house like vines. Then the drawers are full of old cables that look like nests of vipers. Some old phones, cameras and computers, keys are things they no longer needed but a reluctant to throw away. Those old shoes, books and clothes, those empty wine glasses and old magazines only help to congest the house.
Adjusting the privates
Adjusting the privates is a habit most women hate. This isn’t something that you grow out of after puberty. It may not be sexual, and may just be for the purposes of comfort but it is something that women often complain about. Despite the reason, it isn’t the most hygienic practice for a man to be handling his manhood all the time.
Passing gas
Women hate fouling of the air. Whatever form it may take, it is repellent to a woman. You may see nothing wrong with it, but nothing is more likely to put an early end to a night of passion than releasing smelly air.
Complaining partners
“Every time, my husband enters the house, he complains. Must you cook vegetable this way? Why are my clothes not ironed? You are damned lazy,” a woman lamented. So complain less and try to be more understanding especially if she is a working woman.
Lack of satisfaction in Bed
Women hate it when their men can’t satisfy their sexual needs. Try to satisfy the sexual needs of your wives. 1 Corinthian 7:3-4 says, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”
Unhelpful men
Help her with the work at home. I’m so busy. Every afternoon when I arrive home from work, I cook and care for the children.
Staring
Women absolutely despise catching their men staring at other women. Women ogle too, visually admiring the opposite sex just as much as their male counterparts, except they generally do it with a greater level of subtlety. Your partner will be annoyed, threatened, embarrassed, and she is likely also angered by the fact that you can’t do it discreetly.
Selfish men
Women hate when their partners are selfish. Do you constantly put your wife down with unkind remarks? Do you demand to have your own way most of the time? do you spend far more money on yourself or your hobbies than you do for your wife and children? Then you are a selfish man. Change these attitudes.
Cheaters
Women hate it when their husbands or partners cheat on them. No sex outside marriage. “It was a horrible day when I found my husband in bed with a girl. I never thought he would do such a thing,” a woman told me.
Wife battery
A man is the head of the family, but you must be careful that in being the head, you are not a bully. William F. Hill in his book, The Excellent husband described a bully this way, “A bully is a blustering, browbeating person who is habitually cruel to others, especially to those whom he feels to be weaker.” A woman said, “I had to leave my husband. He beats me such that my life was in danger.”

Saturday 13 September 2014

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST ASSET THAT GUYS IS CRAZY ABOUT

It is a common saying that people don’t appreciate what they have. Rather some will become jealous of other people’s assets, ignoring their own. It is not possible in life to have everything. No human being is perfect, so you should be able to know your strengths and weaknesses. Change the things you can and accept the things you can’t change with dignity. The insatiable nature of human beings especially women when it comes to their looks or God’s endowment made this survey necessary. This is what some ladies said:
“Well it’s hard to know what exactly the part of my body that guys is crazy about. Some say my eyes do the magic. They give me the impression that I’ve got the kind of eyes that would turn any guy on. Some others can’t stop talking about my shape. Some guys say a have a sexy carriage,” Evelyn said.
Sarah had this to say about what she felt is her greatest asset, “Some guys are crazy about my waist-line and flexibility.”
“I think it is my voice. Anytime I speak guys say I have got seductive voice. Some say the way I walk is romantic,” Pamela informed me.
“It’s my hips. Guys are crazy about my hips, even my female friends say I’ve got incredible hips. Guys can’t resist it, they keep coming,” Maurine said with a smile.
“Three things make me stand out. They are my looks, stature and above all my friendship. I know I have these assets but when the guys say it, it makes me feel good,” Clara accepted.
“Some guys say my slim physique; others say it is my smile that is my greatest asset. Guys say that they love the way I smile and will do anything to have me. They constantly swarm around me trying to win me over,” Martha said.
“I know I have a terrific physique. However, my boobs seem to be the center of attraction. They can’t take their eyes off my chest. They are always staring at that part of my body. The other thing that drives them crazy is my backside,” Selena said with confidence.
“My lips, of course. Men tell me they like my lips. They say I have kissable lips. Some of them say mere looking at my lips turn them on. I also have attractive hips. Guys say I look sexy and hot in trousers,” Sally proudly said.
“Men are crazy about my legs. They disturb me a lot anytime I wear short skirt. My legs are hot and sexy,” Juliet said.

So what is your own biggest asset? You have to say something. If you don’t know, find out and use it to your advantage and stop being jealous of others’ assets. You have yours, nurture it and men will come seeking for your attention.